MISSING: Half a Cockroach
And that, mis amigos, left the question, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE OTHER HALF? So I started looking for the other half, because the thought of just half a bug hanging out somewhere in the bathroom, possibly near my toothbrush or vagina, was sort of killing me. So I look and look and I can't find it. I don't know where the fuck it is. Half a bug, the size of a minivan, fucking missing in my crapbox 187 square foot apartment. You can't lose anything in that shit, it's like losing something in a shoebox, you have to be a fucktard. So my first thought was maybe this roach got severed in half by Something, and so the front half just crawled away to "safety". I dunno maybe some Aliens vs Predator shit went down and some roaches had a turf war and left half a roach as a sign. Maybe the roach had a rat stuffed in its mouth, I dunno I didn't look because I don't know if roaches even have mouths. Then my second thought was a rat ate half of this gigantic roach and got full and left the other half for later. SO then I started wigging out because rats are fucking hideous and act as if they own the fucking joint, eating my food, leaving table-sized shits everywhere, having fucking parties (literally fucking parties, i.e. parties in which they fuck). So then I started looking for rat shit and the other half of this fucking roach. Agh I'm getting nauseous just thinking about this. And then I stopped because I realized I was being fucking neurotic and did I really want to find what I was expecting?
And then I was like uh yeah I want to find it because I like pain and also closure, so I looked but couldn't find it and now all I'm left is a bunch of unanswered questions and a roach leg stuck to my tile floor.
this is in or around my crapbox studio