Originally Posted: 2004-07-27 11:28pm
RANT: My Bathroom Window Rat
Hi All, I’d like to give a big FUCK YOU RANT to the rat trapped outside my bathroom window. I’ve got some kind of empty space between buildings giving me a small window in my bathroom looking at nothing but some brick space. In this “nothing”, I am now aware there is a 2 inch space between the floor of “nothing” and my window. This goes down about 8 inches and, apparently, some FUCKING RAT has got his dumbass stuck in there. This means I’ve got some big, ugly bastard rat sitting, squashed between my bathroom window and a slab of concrete that he can’t get the leverage to scale and get the fuck out of. I’m not very observant, but am pretty damn sure said rat only got there today which means:
a) the dirty fucker is going to die in my window of starvation over the next few days
b) the dirty fucker is going to jump and look at me with his one eye (he can’t move his head to fix both eyes on me) until then. Every shower, every tooth brushing, every piss and so on…
c) the dirty fucker is presumably going to get more and more desperate (riiight???) and probably start scratching (if he can get his nails to glass?), possibly banging his stupid head into the window, or likely breaking out in blood-curdling EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’s through the night?
d) The dirty fucker is eventually going to die and then attract whatever organisms are attracted to decomposing rat for what? Shall we say maybe 10 months? A year? On the window of my BATHROOM?!?!
As for all you animal lovers out there, I’m not so cold-hearted that I’d actually wish death on this fucker if I had a choice, but what are my options??? My only option is to open my bathroom window so he can fall into my shower or bathroom floor! And while I’m so damn nice that I’ve actually considered it, I’ve firmly decided that is NOT going to happen. So I’m here at CL with a big – and I mean a MIGHTY big – FUCK YOU TO THE BASTARD RAT at my bathroom window!!!
ps. I'm not a completely sick fuck so I haven't taken a picture of the rat (yet), but if y'all are really interested, shoot me an email and if I get enough, I'll make the effort and post it in R&R...
this is in or around UES