Originally Posted: 2004-07-27 11:28pm
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RANT: My Bathroom Window Rat
Hi All, Iíd like to give a big FUCK YOU RANT to the rat trapped outside my bathroom window. Iíve got some kind of empty space between buildings giving me a small window in my bathroom looking at nothing but some brick space. In this ďnothingĒ, I am now aware there is a 2 inch space between the floor of ďnothingĒ and my window. This goes down about 8 inches and, apparently, some FUCKING RAT has got his dumbass stuck in there. This means Iíve got some big, ugly bastard rat sitting, squashed between my bathroom window and a slab of concrete that he canít get the leverage to scale and get the fuck out of. Iím not very observant, but am pretty damn sure said rat only got there today which means:
a) the dirty fucker is going to die in my window of starvation over the next few days
b) the dirty fucker is going to jump and look at me with his one eye (he canít move his head to fix both eyes on me) until then. Every shower, every tooth brushing, every piss and so onÖ
c) the dirty fucker is presumably going to get more and more desperate (riiight???) and probably start scratching (if he can get his nails to glass?), possibly banging his stupid head into the window, or likely breaking out in blood-curdling EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEís through the night?
d) The dirty fucker is eventually going to die and then attract whatever organisms are attracted to decomposing rat for what? Shall we say maybe 10 months? A year? On the window of my BATHROOM?!?!
As for all you animal lovers out there, Iím not so cold-hearted that Iíd actually wish death on this fucker if I had a choice, but what are my options??? My only option is to open my bathroom window so he can fall into my shower or bathroom floor! And while Iím so damn nice that Iíve actually considered it, Iíve firmly decided that is NOT going to happen. So Iím here at CL with a big Ė and I mean a MIGHTY big Ė FUCK YOU TO THE BASTARD RAT at my bathroom window!!!
ps. I'm not a completely sick fuck so I haven't taken a picture of the rat (yet), but if y'all are really interested, shoot me an email and if I get enough, I'll make the effort and post it in R&R...
this is in or around UES