Originally Posted: 2004-06-29 10:10am
A word to the wise on dating etiquette
So if you've dated in the NYC and you're in your 30s, you're probably familiar with the "don't ask don't tell" policy. Basically, i know you're dating other people, and you know i might be but let's not address that for the moment to preserve the fun and sanity of everyone involved. It's a terrible but remarkably effective strategy WHEN EMPLOYED PROPERLY. I bolded that last part for a reason. And well let's move on so you can see why.
So i've been dating this girl for a month or so. It's going fairly well. We have sleepovers but there are the occasional nights where she is "out with friends". Fine. I don't pry and that's what makes the "D.A.D.T." policy work.
So we made plans to meet up at 10:30 saturday morning. We were supposed to go for a bike ride to Coney Island. A nice fun activity summer weekend. She was unavailable friday due to "previous plans" but i moved on from that. C'est la guerre.
So i arrived in the vicinity and gave a call. The call went something like this:
Me: "Hello, hey i'm in the area. you ready?"
Her: "Ummm no I just woke up and need to do some errands."
Me: "Oh. well do you need any help? i can lock up and help you."
Her: "No that's ok. i'm just about to leave."
at this point, a nice sense of dread crept in. fascinating!
Me: "Didn't you just wake up?"
Her: "Yes but i'm just about to leave."
Me: "Do you not want me to come by then?" (look a convenient out!)
Her: "No it's ok come on by. maybe around 11."
Odd! almost suspicious! so i biked around and then went and locked up in front around 10:45 and generally avoided that nasty little man in the back of my head who kept muttering to me "dude you are so fucked."
Sure enough about 5 minutes later she walks down the street with a boy. Both of whom look they'd just woken up. I think at this point i had an expression of the utmost disbelief and then she introduced the two of us.
Her: "Hey, X this is Y."
Her:"I'd just to go upstairs and get my stuff"
so then they head upstairs and coming down a few minutes later with him carrying some overnight-type gear. At this point, I'm like "What the Fuck?" because of the sheer amount and audacity of the dating fouls being committed.
I'll cut short the narrative here but let me in closing say a few words.
DATER-PEOPLE: if you are going to sleep with someone the night before, at least get them out of the area before your second date arrives.
this is in or around manhattan