best of craigslist > new york > Goddammit you stole my ho bag
Originally Posted: 2004-05-20 12:26am

Goddammit you stole my ho bag

I bet you're feeling pretty stupid right now. Now I don't know if it's your regular practice to steal bags from slumbering commuters early in the AM or it was your idea of spontaneous fun. You almost got my wallet too - as I woke up it was peaking out my front jacket pocket, almost free for the stealing, but not quite. You should have concentrated on the wallet, it had a lot more of what you wanted, but I'm sure you understand that now.

Instead you stole my ho bag. The duffel bag that I used for my illicit afternoon job, the bag that I had tricked out with toys, slutty clothes, condoms, two types of lube, wet naps, rope, heels, stockings, handcuffs, pretty much everything you'd need for an afternoon of non-S/M prostitution. That day had been really profitable and then you have to steal my bag- nearly destroying my profits. I'm going to have to guess you're a guy, probably straight and narrow, and probably a petty thief. If you have a girlfriend, she's probably not accomodating enough to dress up like a whore and use my toys while you watch. I doubt you can sell my prostitute goods, though if I see my stuff being harked by a chinese woman on canal street, I'll certainly be impressed. Really, you got absolutely nothing from my ho bag. I wish I could have seen the look on your face when, having whisking my ho bag away and awaiting your spoils, you were faced with my dildos and lube and thongs.

Sure I feel like an idiot for not latching my ho bad to my person, but at least you feel like an idiot too. Goddamn cockgnobber stealing my fucking ho bag.


post id: 31655693

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