Originally Posted: 2003-11-07 15:34 (no longer live)
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Speaking of farts.....

Well folks, I just took the perfect dump. It is what I refer to as a "walkaway." For me they are a rare occurence, like a comet. Anyway, here is what transpired.

Dump comes out, perfect size and texture, no oder. It rips a 10.00 entry into the water that would make any Olympic diver jealous. Disappears down the pipe. The entry was so perfect, no water splashes at all! The millions of nerve endings on my ass send this signal to my brain, "no need to wipe, perfect dump, nothing here, simply walkaway." Even though I know there is nothing there, caution prevails, I wipe, nothing. Confirmation having been obtained, my chest begins to swell with pride. I'm washing my hands, look into the mirror, give myself a thumbs up, a nod and a grin and think to myself, "a fucking walkaway!" I theorize that if everyone in the world could dump like this every single time, the world would be a very happy place. I hope nobody reading this is (A) constipated today or (B) hung over taking nasty assed sewage craps all day.

I fell like dancing!!!!!



post id: 18962152