i'm sorry i abused your dog. i'm really not a violent person normally. not at all.

but its been a shitty week. i lost my job. i lost my girl. i lost my apt. and there i was...trying to relax. sitting on a bench, drinking my coffee, searching the job listings of the paper. and the next thing i knew some little weasly dog was pissing on my shoe. the anger and frustration that has been pent up inside of me all week just blew up. i picked up the little sucker, looked him in the eyes, dropped him on the ground and kicked him with all my might.

i didn't stick around long enough to see if he was okay. i think i got scared he was dead or something.

but as i was running, i noticed you, this beautiful woman, rushing towards the poor heap of a dog. my attraction to you was intense. like no other i've ever felt. i wanted to say something, but i was worried you would be angry at me for drop-kicking your pup. i feel like you could help me heal. help me forget my loss of job, apt and bitch.

did you feel the connection? do you want me to?

i promise. i'm really a normal, non-violent, animal-loving guy. if you want me, i'm here.