best of craigslist > north jersey > Engineer Robson
Originally Posted: 2006-09-25 1:20pm

Engineer Robson

I recently got a very exciting email through MySpace from a very nice man in Nigeria named Engineer Robson Jones. In his profile he writes "i am engineer robson jones an a construction engineer and i will like to meet my soil meat and i am a gooding man esry going and i have trust in god". He sounded like an intelligent man with a plan for him and I to make a lot of money together. Here is our email correspondence:


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 24, 2006 03:01 PM

Please accept my apology for contacting you this way which was due to the urgency of my request I am rather in a very precarious situation that warrants my talking very little till I confirm our buisness relationship.
If it is money please that would be no problem, I just need to know you have the capacity to handle large funds and you can be trusted.
Presently I am in the tight clutches of my native government who has
amongst other things clamped my company and my freedom all in abid to finance its reform programmes. I sold timber to other countries before.
The internet for now is my only uncensored link to the outside world and I would appreciate it if you take me very seriously.You would be well renumerated for your effort and assistance.Hoping to hear soonest
from you.
Regards,


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 24, 2006 3:06 PM

Engineer, umm, I mean, Egineer Robson, it sounds like you are in quite a pickle.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 24, 2006 03:19 PM

CAN YOU HELP ME I JUST NEED TO KNOW BECOS TIME IS GOING I WIL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 24, 2006 3:25 PM

Egineer Robson. What can I do to help? Are you in some kind of trouble?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 24, 2006 03:32 PM

Thanks for your kind reply, I would need your utmost confidentiality and complete honesty in the transfer of this funds.I would need to tell you that all required arrangements have been made for the transfer of this funds through a diplomatic courier service to your secured receiving address. However,shipment would commence 48hrs once I am in receipt of your details which includes your telephone and fax numbers,secured receiving address as well as your mobile if any.The courier company is not aware of the content as funds but the package would be marked "Diplomatic Documents" and it should be within the both of us the content until you receive the package.They offer door to door delivery as p.o box is not acceptable.The said funds is total $US7.7Million all in 100 dollar bills,I would be willing to give you 25hile the rest would be invested till I can travel to meet with you. Can you handle this funds?Can you be trusted?I would be waiting for your details so that we can proceed



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 24, 2006 3:39 PM

Wow! $7.7 million!

Okay, my phone is (555) 666-6969 and my fax is (555) 227-6969.

My address is 1234 Fake Street
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Is there anything else I can do Egineer Robson?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 25, 2006 6:38 AM

HELLO I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOUR E-MAIL ADDERESS SO I WILL KNOW WHOT NEST TO DO BROTHER PLEASE GET TO ME BACK AS POSIBLE AS YOU CAN THANKS



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 27, 2006 8:02 AM

Hello my good friend Engineer Robson. Sorry for not getting back to you for a few days. I was away at a tap dance rodeo all weekend. Good news! I finished in fifth place! Anyhoo, I can't stop thinking about the money I will be receiving in exchange for helping you out. My email address is horny4u_grrrl@hotmail.com. So, when do I get my money?

Love,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 27, 2006 12:38 PM

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU THE SOME DOCMENT AS SOON AS POSIBLE OK AND I WILL LIKE TO CHAT WITH YOU SO YOU CAN MEET ME NOW AT YAHOO MESSEAGER OR MSN MESSEAGER SO WE CAN CHAT I WILL LIKE TO CHAT WITH YOU THANKS


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 27, 2006 3:02 PM

Mr. Robson,

I'm so interested in helping you out. God knows I could sure use the money. I recently got myself in a bit of a jam as I invested heavily in a friend's new clothing line. It seemed like a good idea at the time but it has been a total bust. Who knew that the public wasn't ready for pants made entirely out of sandpaper. How quickly can I get this money? I'm over $60,000 in the hole here! I borrowed the money from some guys I met at a breakdancing competition and if I don't pay them back by the end of the week they're going to cut my tongue off! My tongue, Egineer Robson! You got to help me out here, man! Egineer Robson, you're my only hope! I need this money! What can I do?!

Hugs and kisses,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 27, 2006 4:15 PM

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I WILL LIKE TO TELL THAT I WILL GIVE YOU 5 THOUSAND DOLLAS CHENQE AND YOU WILL CASH IT OUT AND SAND 4 THOUSAND TO ME SO THAT I CAN CONTIEN THE PROCESS OF THE MONEY .
AND I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON OK SO THAT I CAN SAND THE MONEY TO YOU OK


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 28, 2006 8:14 AM

Koo koo ka choo Mr Robson. Let me get this straight. I mail you $4000 and you will send me $5000? So, I make $1000? Wow! Where do I send the money?

Forever yours,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 28, 2006 8:43 AM

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL WILL YOU DO THAT I JUST HAVE TO KNOW OK OLOSHI OLE THANKS


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 28, 2006 8:50 AM

Yes, I will do that. Now, show me the money! (That's a quote from a popular 1996 movie called Jerry McGuire starring TomKat Cruise and Jay Mohr.)

Oloshi Ole,

-B.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Feb 28, 2006 1:10 PM

THANKS FOR YOU MAIL I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOUR HOME ADDERESS AND YOUR E-MAIL ADDERSS AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND YOUR FULL NAME I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Feb 28, 2006 1:52 PM

Fuck, Egineer Robson! How many fucking cock sucking times do I have to give you this fucking information? I have given you my fucking email address, I have given you my fucking home address and I have given you my fucking telephone number! What the fuck is going on here? Give me my fucking money that you fucking promised me! Fuck, I'm beginning to think you are not who you say you fucking are! I don't know what kind of fucking shit you are trying to pull here but for fuck's sake this is starting to fucking piss me off! Fuck!

Love always,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 2, 2006 6:07 PM

OLE OLOSHI IYA BABA


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 3, 2006 8:44 AM

What the fuck are you talking about? Did you just put a curse on me?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 3, 2006 9:33 AM

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL WILL YOU HELP ME TO CASH THE CHECK OUT MEN I JUST WHOT TO KNOW THAT IS ALL


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 3, 2006 10:03 AM

Huh? Your english is the shittiest english in the history of english. Also, lay off the capital letters and add a comma and a period once in awhile. Fuck, Egineer Robson, get your shit together. Now, what can I do for you? You want me to cash some kind of check? Help me out here, your email makes absolutely no fucking sense.

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 3, 2006 12:56 PM

whot did you mean


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 3, 2006 2:29 PM

Hey! Good job! You didn't use all capital letters. It's a step in the right direction. I'm really proud of you, Egineer Robson. There are still a few problems though. Let's examine the sentence you sent me, okay?

whot did you mean

First of all, whot is spelled what. Now, when we start a sentence we use capital letters (only the first letter though). So, the first word in your sentence should be What (notice the capital W?). Next, instead of the word did you might want to use the word do. Finally, when a question is posed, at the end of the sentence a question mark is used. It's one of these things: ? and can be found on the lower right hand side of a standard keyboard, kind of close to the space bar (the really long button at the bottom). Your sentence now reads:

What do you mean?

Now, that's a good looking sentence! Why don't you try it now. Remember, I'm proud of your progress and keep up the good work!

Your best friend,

-B


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 6, 2006 12:31 PM

HOW ARE YOU DOING HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU ? I WILL LIKE TO ASK MAYBE YOU CAN CASH THE CHECK OUT FOR JUST TELL ME YES OR NO BROTHER I NEED TO KNOW THIS BECUSE TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE SO I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON ............ ENGINEER ROBSON


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 6, 2006 2:29 PM

You love those capital letters don't you, Egineer Robson...

Anyway, It'll be no problem for me to cash that check for you. I would be more than happy to help out a fellow brother in need. Now, how do we get this shit done? You know what I think would be cool? If I was to go to the airport with a briefcase and one of your guys also comes to the airport with the check inside the exact same briefcase and then your guy and me talk for awhile and then we put our briefcases on the ground and then when we're done talking we take each other's briefcase! You know, the old switcheroo! Then I will have the briefcase with the check in it and your guy will have my briefcase. I don't know what will be in my briefcase though. Hmmm...I guess it doesn't really matter, does it? Hmmmm...how about I fill it with bread crusts. I save them and I have more than my fair share at my home because I like to feed the ducks by the pond in my neighborhood. There's this one duck that I call "Snappy" and let me tell you he is one crazy character. That duck loves his bread crusts lol! But I digress. Tell your guy to meet me at the airport at 19:00 (that's spy talk for 7pm).

Thinking of you always,

-B

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 7, 2006 10:33 AM

THANKS YOUR MAIL I WILL YOU HELP ME TO CASH THE CHECK WHOT TO KNOW THANKS


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 8, 2006 1:25 PM

I spoke to my therapist about you the other day. She was going on and on about how I should get out and meet more people. She doesn't think it's healthy for a grown man to have a pet chameleon as their one and only friend. She said you were just a figment of my imagination and that I had made you up to compensate for my extreme loneliness. After I stopped crying I told her that you were my best friend in the whole wide world and showed her the picture of you that I keep in my wallet and the emails you have sent to me. She said that you were a very handsome man with great taste in sunglasses but that the whole check thing sounded a little fishy and could very well be a scam. I then flipped out and ripped off her diplomas from the wall and threw her vast collection of paperweights at her head. Don't worry, she'll be fine. The doctors just want to keep her in the hospital for another couple weeks for observation. Anyhoo, the night that I spent in prison for this "incident" gave me time to think about us. Is there an us, Egineer Robson? These feelings I have for you are deep and I'm afraid I cannot go on another day without you in my life, by my side for always and forever. As the great singer/songwriter Peter Cetera once said "You bring feeling to my life, you're the inspiration". Think about what I've said Egineer Robson. Think about it.

Luv,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 8, 2006 2:18 PM

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOUR FULL ADDERESS AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER YOUR FULL NAME SO I CAN SEND THE CHECK TO YOU I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FREOM YOU SOON THANKS


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 8, 2006 3:25 PM

Ugg! Okay, my full name is Balwinderjit Singh Dhaliwal. My address is the basement suite at 6218 Greasy Nipple Lane in Thundercock, New Brunswick, Canada. My phone # is toll free 1-800-SEX-GODD (1-800-739-4633). So, what happens when you send me the check? Do you want me to cash it? How much will it be for? When should I expect to get it? Are you sending it today? What's the capital of Peru? Do I have to send anything back to you? Shit, this is so exciting! I can't wait! My horoscope this morning said "many riches will be coming to you from a mysterious scam artist with a kick ass mustache". Looks like I hit the jackpot!

Questioning my own sexuality since meeting you,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 8, 2006 4:06 PM

OLE OLOSHI OLORUBUKU


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 9, 2006 9:25 AM

Good point, Egineer Robson. I couldn't have said it better myself.

-B.



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 9, 2006 11:37 AM

HELLO WHOT DID YOU WHOT FROM ME JUST TELL ME YOU CAN NOT HELP ME WHY CAN YOU LIVE ME ALONE


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 9, 2006 2:27 PM

Yeah, I like pumpkin pie.

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 10, 2006 3:50 AM

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I WILL TELL YOU THAT I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOUR REAL ADDERESS IF YOU KNOW YOU TO MAKE MONEY I NEED YOUR REAL HOME ADDERESS AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU OK I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON ......


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 10, 2006 8:40 AM

If I give you my phone number are you going to call me? If you do please make sure you don't call me on Friday evenings in between 6pm and 8pm. That's when I play bridge with my gymnastics team. Oh, and don't call me on Sundays in between 10pm and 7am as I'll be sleeping. Thanks, honey.

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 10, 2006 02:45 PM

HELLO I WILL NEED YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND YOUR HOME ADDERESS I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 10, 2006 3:19 PM

Wazzzzzzzzzzzup??? Lol, do you remember that? Wazzzzzuuup! It's from the Budweiser commercials a few years ago...pretty funny shit. Hey, guess what? Earlier today I got an email from some lady in Nigeria named Katherine. You're from Nigeria, right? Do you know her? Here's her picture:


She's quite a looker, eh? Boy, you Nigerians love your MySpace, don't you? This is so cool! First, I meet you (my new best friend) and now Katherine (my future wife?) Looks like love is in the air...Here's her email to me:

From: katherine
Date: Mar 10, 2006 9:39 AM

hello there,i am katherine Ola James,single lady never married,no kids at all.Searching for a marraige oriented man,who is ready for marraige.Pls all players skip my profile and dont respnd to my email.if you are the right man,you can hook me up here.
katejames201@yahoo.com
or you can also add me to your yahoo IM list so we can get to chat online sometime now.i will look forward to your response.
bye for now.
All the best of life.
love from,Katherine Ola James

Anyway, if you do know her put a good word in for me. Thanks, dude.

Bad news, my phone line is down as my pet chameleon chewed through the telephone cord. That little guy is always getting into trouble lol. This one time he ate an entire two pound bag of dried banana chips! Can you believe that, Egineer Robson? Two pounds! So....how about I call you? How does that sound, sexy? Talk to you soon!

Yours truly,

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 10, 2006 3:41 PM

hello i will like to if you can have me your adderess or not


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 10, 2006 3:51 PM

Huh?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 10, 2006 4:05 PM

YES I JUST NEED TO KNOW THAT ALL


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 13, 2006 8:12 AM

What are you talking about? Are you hitting on me?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 14, 2006 1:59 AM

HELLO I JUST NEED TO KNOW IF YOU WILL CASH THE CHECK FOR JUST TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW THIS PLAESE GET TO BACK IN MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL CASH THE CHECK OUT FOR ROBSONJONES123@YAHOO.CO.UK WITH YOUR FULL NAME AND YOUR REAL HOME ADDRESS AND YOUR PHONU MUNBER I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU FOR THE LAST TIME AFTER THIS YOU FORGET ABOUT THE DEAL MAN I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON PLEASE MAIL ME BACK TO MY E-MAIL ADDRES


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 14, 2006 9:55 AM

Why are you yelling at me? You know I don't like it when you yell at me, Egineer Robson. Wow. I've never seen this side of you before and to be honest it kind of scares me. I think we need to talk. This isn't easy for me to say but I think I'm falling out of love with you. Maybe it's best we go our separate ways. You know, we can still be friends and hang out and stuff but I think I'm ready to move on and meet new Nigerians. This is best for the both of us and in time you will agree. Take care, my love. You'll always be in my heart.

-B.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 14, 2006 7:06 PM

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I WILL LIKE ASK OF YOUR ZIPE CODE AND CITY AND STATE


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 15, 2006 10:35 AM

My zipe code? What the fuck are you talking about? Zipe code? Jeez, Egineer Robson. It's over, move on! We're done! Finished! Finito! Fin! Got it? I don't want to hear from you ever again.

-B


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 15, 2006 4:04 PM

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOUR E-MAIL ADDERSS ALSO


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 16, 2006 9:02 AM

Oh my fucking God! What is wrong with you??? Okay fine, my email address is leave_me_the_fuck_alone@ lick_my_ass.com


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 17, 2006 02:29 PM

HELLO OLOSHI WILL GET TO YOU SOON OK OLE


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 20, 2006 10:42 AM

Get what to me?! What the fuck are you talking about now, you stinking douchebag?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: egineer robson
Date: Mar 22, 2006 8:26 PM

HELLO YOU FORGET ABOUT THE DEAL COZ YOU DID NOT GIVE YOR REAL E-MAIL ADDRESS BYE



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Balwinderjit Dhaliwal
Date: Mar 23, 2006 10:13 AM

I will love you forever...

-B.




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