Originally Posted: 2009-01-03 9:20pm
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favorite this post To the Asian Girl Whom I offended with my Asian-ness - m4w

You: Asian, young(ish), cute, petite, left-of-center, cosmopolitan.

Me: The Asian guy you would never dream of giving a second glance.

Hi! Iím so sad that you were offended by my very presence at your favorite boutique coffee shop. Seriously, I was just there to do some work and maybe a bit of reading Ė I didnít mean to draw attention to the fact that you too, are also Asian. I was just looking for a quiet place to sit, and the seat by you just happened to be open. Itís not like peed all over you, put my arm around your shoulder, and screamed to all the other patrons in a heavy Chinese accent, ďShe mine! You all stay away!Ē

After I sat down and pulled out Saidís Orientalism (no joke), you, in all of your ignorant glory, proceeded to loudly flirt with the nearest non-Asian man with a pulse to dissuade any romantic overtures from me. Lady, I already know you only date white guys; you donít even have to open your mouth.

Ever since Chad took you out back in high school and made you the envy of all homecoming, youíve understood the magical power of white boys. Your parents balked until they saw how well Chet treated you and made you so so so happy. You tell yourself you donít see color lines, and that youíre ending racism by only dating white guys Ė and you give yourself a little pat on the back every night before dreaming of waking up with beautiful blonde hair. Youíve even thrown in a black guy or two, just to get back at daddy. Asian guys? Like, gag me with a spoon!

Hey, I applaud you. Youíre totally progressive. Never mind all that bukakke stuff Jeremy keeps wanting to do (I wonder where he gets these ideas?). No need to worry about Scottyís browser history pointing to asianteensluts.com. Totally normal! What red-blooded American man doesnít want to bang a Japanese high school girl?

Honestly, if I were in your stilettos, Iíd do the same thing. If white girls were all over me Ďcause of my nice, smooth skin, my mad computer skills and wispy peach fuzz, Iíd ride that white stallion to all glory.

But since Iím 6í2Ē, 200 lbs. with 4% body fat and a PhD, I guess Iíll have to settle for one of our more racist Asian sistahs.

  • Location: Westside
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post id: 979427049

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