I Need People I Can Vent With
A girlfreind that wrings your nuts in a vice because you do something she doesn't like.
A mother who nags with fire breathing intensity. Other people sleeptalk or sleepwalk. Your mother sleepbitches and sleepnags.
A father whose indifference to the world and you especially leads you to believe he does not care, but brings the Hammer of Thor down on your ass the minute you sip a beer.
An adolescent brother whose need to masturbate defies all common decency, leaving protein stains on your sheets because your room just happens to have an ample supply medical texts with horrible caricatures of vaginas.
A senile grandmother who brandishes a knife every time you mention money. The mere thought of her own grandson stealing money she doesn't have brings her to hysterics, heating rocks in the oven and threatening to commit suicide through a first degree burn/self stoning death.
An aunt that never got over the boy crazy hormonal stage. Flirting with her nephew and audibly wondering about the size of his member is part of a daily curriculum.
Hey, if this sounds like you, we should definitely hang out. If you want to know what all this can do to a young man, watch an epileptic siezure, because the frustration can amount to uncontrollable convulsions. If you want to vent with me, come on down. We'll take baseball bats and beat shit or count backwards from ten and go fishing. It's all about preserving mental health. Especially do contact me if your significant other is driving you insane. Men or women, I don't care. Just be willing to slander pokemon and engage mosh pits. Have a nice day.