Originally Posted: 2005-04-04 9:50pm
Dear Outer Space Inhabitant
Greetings non-earthling. This message comes to you from a message board called 'Craig's List' (it's sort of a community message board) in Los Angeles, USA, planet earth. The management of Craig's List have decided to transmit our messages to outer space, that is how you are receiving this.
I just wanted to say 'hey.' How are things on, errrr, whatever planet you are from?
Since this is my first intergalactic correspondence, I have a few questions:
I wonder.....in order to come visit us, you must have to travel at great speeds, nearing the speed of light. How does a flying saucer, which seems to have no engines save for the ability to spin on it's center axis, achieve such great speeds? Further, why do your spaceships make that strange whistling sound? One time, Greg and Peter tricked Bobby into thinking he saw a flying saucer using only a flashlight, a sheet and a whistle. It was funny.
Second, when your friends come here, why do they only crash in the American Southwest. It is an area coincidentally occupied by many of our military bases. (Yes, we are so young in our evolution that we still have wars.) The problem is, the military scoops up your crashed space ships, and only a handful of toothless geeks have the true evidence of your visitations here. You guys have big eyes. Do you wear giant sunglasses?
Third, what exactly is your fascination with the American Southwest? Sure, I could see a visit to Santa Fe or Phoenix in your travel plans, but the southern Mojave? Is it the weather? Get lost on your way to Vegas? Is it the food? I do love a plate of chorizo and eggs.
Have you guys ever been to the moon? We been there.
Anyway, next time you are in our galaxy, feel free to stop by. I make a killer Chili Relleno. But please call first.