Originally Posted: 2004-11-17 12:34pm

Shower Head

One of the few perks of moving into an old, rundown apartment is that the showerheads aren't typically corrupted by the 'low-flo' craze of the mid 90s. The first shower in my new apartment was like a tropical rain. The showerhead was gigantic. Crystal clear water poured down like a warm waterfall somewhere in Fiji.

Then my knuckleheaded roommate decided it was an eyesore (much like the rest of the apartment) and needed to be replaced with a big, shiny, low flow vegetable steamer. The replacement took place without warning and my tropical sunflower was dumpsered in my absence.

What a jackass.

The luxury of getting in and out of the shower in less than 10 minutes was gone. Instead, I was forced to either stand there like a moron or run in circles and try to get wet. It sucked. I tried to replace my beloved showerhead, but alas, the environmental nuts in California have put the kibosh on stores selling what I needed.

Mornings are a bad time for me and last Monday I found myself on the bathroom floor, yanking this low flow bastard apart. I figured out that there was a restricter plate in it, only allowing a small stream of water through. I brought it to work with me that day and had one of the engineers bore the fucker out with a drill press to about 4X the original size. The rest of the workday was spent muttering "My precious" and laughing maniacally.

At the end of the day I raced home to install my little creation. Pants down, in the shower, water on, here we go. Wow. Have you ever seen footage of riot police blowing a person down the street with a fire hose? Imagine that guy with no police and no street. In a 3' X 6' shower. It hurt a lot. In my pursuit of the Tropical Rain, I have inadvertently converted my harmless showerhead into the Commando 450. (Seinfeld episode #126)

I guess the upside is the shower tiles have been hydro-blasted clean. The downside is coming to work with red skin and a concussion.

this is in or around -sb-

post id: 49330034

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