Originally Posted: 2004-09-02 11:42am

favorite this post MC: my neighbor with his snooze button

I thought you might have just forgotten. You don't stay home one night, the alarm is still set, and it goes off and no one is there to turn the thing off. Fine. Sure, it was 5 a.m., and it's surprising that I can hear your alarm, even though you're not even in my building, but in the one across the alley. I shut my windows, but I could still hear the persistent beeping (thanks, Postal Service), trying to wake you up whereever you were. But it's a week later, and every morning, at 5 a.m. the alarm goes off.

And I know you're not out of town, because sometimes it goes off for just a few beeps and gets turned off, and sometimes it beeps endlessly for what seems like an hour. Maybe you're a really heavy sleeper. Maybe you revel in the sound of the alarm, how it reminds you that you get to start another day, and to you, the beeping sounds like a chorus of angels, welcoming you to the glory of the morning.

Maybe you get dressed really methodically, and need the metronome-like beeping to time your routine, like you were practicing a Bach Invention on the piano. Shorts shorts shorts shorts- pants pants pants pants- shirt shirt shirt shirt- teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth.

Or maybe, just maybe, this is a calculated peeping-tom effort. It's summer, it's hot, and this means I do two things at night. I keep my windows open, and I sleep naked. You time your alarm for just when the sun is beginning to rise, and you know that the loud alarm will make me get out of bed, walk over to the windows, and shut them. And for that brief glimpse, you set your alarm each night, put your binoculars by the window, and wait.

If that isn't the case, if you are just a heavy sleeper, I have a solution for you. Take my cat at night. He's totally cool about 23 hours of the day. He sleeps, he eats, he sleeps more. But then, around 5 a.m. he loses it. Runs around the apartment posessed, clawing at the furniture, jumps on me, meowing, attacking my other cat, until he goes and poops in the tub, and tuckers out again. I could just bring him over at night, leave him there to be your personal satan-feline alarm clock, and leave me to an entire night of sleep. I'll even provide the clorox wipes for the tub. Cool?

this is in or around across the alley

post id: 41287488

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