Originally Posted: 2004-02-05 1:47am
Why Honesty Doesn't Work
SWF, 28 (and looks 28), likes to sleep a lot and eat junk food, seeks unbelievably attractive, stable, employed (that last one being a stretch) gentleman for fun and possible LTR. SwF is not at the moment interested in sexual activity, because she has depression and her life is pretty lame at the moment. Said male would have to magically lift this SWF out of her depression, or at least be hot enough to make her panties go ping.
On the plus side, she's pretty intelligent, but who cares about that shit, right guys?
Said sophisticated gent must be able to accept SWF's extra 15 pounds, which unfortunately do not reside in her boob area. (Yeah, that was 15, not 150; I have yet to achieve CL Heifer status.) SWF is also not in any discernable "shape" whatsoever, but is willing to get into shape, provided she can acquire motivation of some sort.
Also, please note that SWF gets acne, has a unibrow and moustache unless waxed fortnightly, and even grows the occasional whisker, which she cries about every time one springs up, overnight, like a malicious tumor of some sort. Also note, before flaming this post, that said SWF was NOT born a man, nor is she a TS, TV, VCR, or whatever other acronym those change-sters go by these days.
Oh, she also sprouts a few miscellaneous hairs on her nipples, too. It's perfectly normal, as well. Undeniable proof that God is a gay misogynist jerk-ass.
This honesty is totally refreshing, and not at all repulsive, right?...
So, while all you boys, you guys, you men, are washing your eyes after reading the above, try to remember that as disgusting as you think all that shit is, it's reality, and as much as it probably grosses you out to imagine that your girlfriend even goes to the bathroom at all, imagine how grossed out she gets every time you get zits on your hairy ass and dingleberries that you couldn't care less about. For the love of the gay misogynist god, and women everywhere, have some self-respect and wash yo' asses, people!
If everyone talked like this, we'd all be hermits like Obi Wan or the Unabomber. That's beginning to sound better than lying just to impress some guy who probably has dingleberries anyway. I mean, I've seen men's dirty underwear, and I have to tell all of you, THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE USED AS DIAPERS. USE TOILET PAPER. There are some stains even Didi-Seven won't lift.
This is almost a rant. One more failed CL personal ad oughtta put me into the Lifer category and I'll just start posting in that section for good. I'll be all seasoned and swarthy and peg-legged by then. Maybe they'll give me a free coffee mug.