Originally Posted: 2003-12-02 11:31am

favorite this post Please stop PATTING MY FUCKING HEAD


Okay, fine, I know, I know. I'm fucking adorable.

I only stand at about 5'1", which is short, but still acceptable for a woman like myself. I know I have the kind of smile that can light up a room and blind you for five days. I can make you laugh because I'm so silly and fun to be around and as cute as a button. Actually, even buttons envy me.

But that's not the fucking point. The point is: STOP PATTING MY FUCKING HEAD.

I'm not a fucking puppy dog or a seven-year-old seeking your approval via playing hair rubbing. Co-workers, family, friends, even strangers. They've all done it. Why can't you just say, "A-, you are so cute and awesome. Let me buy you a beer." See? Isn't that more appropriate?

I know I'm irresistible, you want to take me home and cuddle up next to me and eat me up in one big swallow... but I'll have you know some things about me that disqualify you from freely patting me on the head:

-I'm a fucking 23-year-old grown woman. I have my period every month where lumps of bloody tissue comes out of my cooter as to signal my childbearing ability. I am biologically capable of making babies, which should ideally preclude me from being patted on the head. Unless you're saying, "Good job on the womb and shit." And that's the only exception.

-I like fucking. As of yet, I don't think that it is acceptable to pat your lover on the head after a good long fucking. A high-five, well, that's something else altogether.

-The second your hand meets my head to tousle my hair, I want to sock you in the face. But I politely decline my blinding rage and let you continue. See? If I'm capable of controlling blinding-fucking-rage, the least you could do is to control your insatiable need to touch me.

Listen, I'm just a short girl. That's it. Respect my fucking space and pride.


post id: 20220874

email to friend

best of [?]