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You’ve been horny all day and just can’t ignore it anymore. You post an ad at 10:00 p.m. on Craigs List saying simply “Fuck Me.” Immediately, you receive an email with nude pics from a hot babe who could be Pamela Anderson Lee’s long lost twin. The email says she is wet and ready for you right now, and includes a map with directions to her place. You grab a handful of condoms and go.
When you get there, the Pam twin opens the door naked. She grabs you by your shirt and pulls you inside. “I’m so horny right now, baby,” she whispers as she leans her hot bod against you. “You came just in time.” You look into the room and can’t believe it, but there is another hot naked babe sitting on the bed! She looks like Yasmin Bleeth. The Pam twin says “Oh, that’s my lesbian roommate. We’re exploring my bi side tonight. I hope you don’t mind.” You can’t believe your good luck. The girls go at it all hot and heavy, while you watch, getting harder by the minute. And just when you wish you had remembered to bring your Polaroid camera, the Pam wannabe says, “Hey let’s videotape us. Wouldn’t it be great to watch ourselves afterwards?” You toss up a prayer in heartfelt thanks to any god nearby.
You engage in wild orgiastic sex with the babes. You do the Pam wannabe while the Yasmin wannabe looks on. The Yasmin wannabe sees the size of your cock, and starts thinkin’ maybe she’s been missing out. So you fuck her too, and she realizes that she really is bi, not lesbian after all. You’ve converted her. Life is sweet. Then you do them both again and again. You lose count of their orgasms, and discover your own capacity for multiples yourself. You & the babes watch the videotape you made, but everyone gets horny from watching, so you all fuck again. Hours later, after you are spent, exhausted, and thoroughly satisfied, you gather your clothes and start to dress. The babes kiss you on both cheeks and say thanks for the best fucking of their lives. You leave, never knowing their real names, and with the best story in the history of Penthouse Magazine letters.
By the time you get home, you are too wound up to write to Penthouse. You can’t wait to share your story, so you get back online and start composing your CL post. You check your email and are surprised to find ten messages from other women who want you, right now. You save their nude pictures into your special folder for future use, and lean back in your chair with a big smile on your face. “I must be dreaming,” you think to yourself.
And then you wake up, alone in your bed. The first words out of your mouth are the same as your original CL post: “Fuck ….. Me.” But you get up, and get online again, hoping for a chance that you might one day have the Perfect Casual Encounter.
You never know.
It’s been more than a month since your last boyfriend called you. Depressed and lonely, you say to yourself, “Why do I bother?” Then an idea strikes you late one night, while reading the Craigslist Ads. On a lark, you post an ad on Craigslist, just to see what the response would be. You check your email and, to your surprise, realize your mailbox has over 100 responses. After rejecting most of crazies, you find one that actually seems pretty decent. A sexy blend of Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas, he captures your attention. So you email him back, chatting flirtatiously, until you both agree on a time to meet for a drink later this week at a nice bar/restaurant nearby.
The day arrives, and you look fabulous. He is even better looking in person. You hit it off immediately, moving effortlessly through small talk, where you grew up, favorite music and sports, and onto philosophical discussions. He makes you laugh and you flirt shamelessly. You’re tempted to sleep with him, but you’re not sure yet. You want to see how good a kisser he is. Then, you look at your watch and realize that it’s after midnight. He walks you to your car and you stand together talking in the parking lot for another 30 minutes, not wanting the date to end. He leans in and gives you a tender, sweet kiss with no tongue, making you melt. Then he kisses you again and builds up to French kissing. Okay, he’s definitely a good kisser. You embrace tightly, but are still not sure if you should sleep with him. He senses your hesitation, and doesn’t push you for sex.
The next day he calls you and tells you what a wonderful time he had. You go out with him a few more times with him, and spend hot makeout sessions at his place, learning about each other’s bodies. Then, your new love invites you to go away for the weekend at a romantic inn in Napa. Finally, you give in to your overwhelming desire to sleep with him. The sex is mind-blowing and magical, but also tender and sweet. After hours of foreplay and cunnilingus, he enters you powerfully. You lose count of your orgasms and wonder how you could have possibly waited so long. In the soft firelight of your cozy room, he tells you he loves you, and asks you to move in with him. You weep with joy and agree. Six months after you move in together, he proposes. You are ecstatic.
You plan an extravagant wedding with picture-perfect details. You find the perfect wedding dress on sale, and as a result, your whole wedding comes in under budget. You use the extra money to bump up to first-class airfare on your honeymoon in Tahiti. In the bungalow on your wedding night, you hold each other closely. You can’t believe that happiness like this is even possible. “I must be dreaming,” you say to yourself.
And then you wake up, alone in your bed. Your first words of the day echo those you spoke late last night: “Why do I bother?” But you get up, and get online again, hoping for a chance that you might one day have the Perfect Casual Encounter.
You never know.