Originally Posted: 2003-08-26 11:42pm
spell-checking is sexy and 10 other aphrodisiacs
As promised, 10 aphrodisiacs. Here they are, boys:
ONE: Enthusiasm for the unknown -- be it a place you've never been, a food you've never eaten, or an indie Zulu film with illegible subtitles you never should have paid good money to see [but, oh, the cinematography!].
TWO: Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi.
THREE: A car that suggests your priorities lie elsewhere. [Please, no Escalade owners. Got a Hummer? Oh, come now. For heaven's sake!]
FOUR: Appreciation of fun in the sun -- biking, skating, hiking, surfing, orienteering, skeet shooting, hoops, bocce, croquet, hide-and-go-seek, hopscotch, whatever. Just so long as you get outside and move around.
FIVE: Books. Lots of 'em. On many different subjects, from the silly to the sublime. However, if you've highlighted and committed to memory passages in your BIBLE, you probably should not respond to this post. But, um, God bless you and all. Up with Jesus!
SIX: A job that inspires you in some way ... presuming that you're not working in a meth lab. Not that such a position couldn't be inspiring, just that I'm not really into Schedule II controlled substances or those who manufacture them. Nor am I into smokes or those who smoke them. Wine, beer and Nestle's Quik are all good.
SEVEN: Singing in the car. Even at red lights. With the windows rolled down. Bonus points if you're willing to croon a falsetto version of "Like a Virgin" or anything by Tom Jones. [Leather pants and copious perspiration optional.]
EIGHT: Healthy relationships with other chicks. Blow-up dolls do NOT count. Whores do not count. Strippers do not count. Friends, sisters and former girlfriends do. [No offense to whores, strippers or blow-up dolls intended. Rock on, ladies!]
NINE: A 13-inch television with three English channels that come in clearly, plus the Korean soap opera one. [If you've got a crappy 13-inch tube with no cable, you know the one I'm talking about.] What can I say? I'm not big into TV as a compelling evening of entertainment. Although, I must say, Charlie Rose is kinda smokin' hot when he gets worked up. Ditto on that John Stossel. Gimme a break, indeed!
TEN: Chiseled features, a ripped bod, and so much money you almost made the Fortune Magazine Rich Bastards list ... Relax, sweetheart -- I'm joking. Dare to be imperfect.
[Me: 34, tall-ish, lean, a little feisty, likes solitude and people in equal measure, might even like you.]