To the stud who stalked me on the freeway
Me: Girl with black hair, black car, grimace, heading up the 101 on my way to work.
You: 40ish guy with round head, brown hair, blowing kisses from the white hatchback behind me.
I saw you in my rearview, winking at me over your sunglasses -- I thought you might be seizuring, but when you puckered up those greasy lips I knew you were all mine. Coyly I changed lanes; you followed. I speeded up -- you gave chase. I flipped a decoy turn signal, went the other direction and tried to drop behind a big rig in the slow lane -- you smiled indulgently and waved to show you knew I didn't mean it. Cad.
Please guys. Don't hit on girls from your cars. And if you ever get the urge to, please imagine first what YOUR reaction would be if a strange middle-aged man with your face and Magnum P.I. glasses started blowing kisses at YOU from his car.