I have made several false claims which I would now like to retract.
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Let me state for the record that I would formally like to apologize to Clarise (spelling?), Diana, Louise and Janet for exaggerating, denying or just plain lying about the following:
The type of car I drive (No, Diana, it was not "in the shop" as I had claimed. I do not, nor am I likely to ever own, an Astin Martin. I will also send the cab fare owed to you when my check from Fred's 62 clears)
My marital status (engaged).
And what became painfully obvious, the dimensions of my genitals.
Several other false claims that I have made on CL are the following:
I have no connection whatsoever with Miramax. I did spot one of the Weinstein brothers at an all you can eat buffet, but that was all. I can not confirm which brother it was.
There is no proof, according to my friends or relatives, that I was ever a "genius destined for greatness" or that "God had called upon me to run Paramount Studios." Sources confirm that I have never been solicited for any great task or even entrusted with caring for a pet.
Apologies to Patty, who slept with me because she thought I was Jewish. As you probably guessed while we were making love, I am not circumsized and my excuse (My parents were forgetful), was clearly a lie.
Well, I think that about absolves me for the past month. I hope you forgive me and that you keep responding to my ads here.