You & Me Doing It v. You & Me Not Doing It (2009)
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Using that IRAC method we've been learning about, a compelling brief on why we should hump each otherís brains out.
Youíre in my class at law school. You are tall, dark and very masculine. I find you quite attractive and itís really distracting. I find reasons to look in your direction during class and I blatantly stare at you whenever we pass by one another. You seem to be returning the looks but I canít figure out if youíre eye-raping me back, or if itís more of a ďwhat the fuck is this girl staring atĒ kind of look. Iím not Megan Fox, but if I was a guy, I don't think I'd kick me out of bed, so I dare to hope itís the former?
Anyway, weíre expected to absorb class material sufficiently enough to one day pass the bar exam, and this is difficult when Iím more focused on whatís behind your zipper. Itís probably distracting to you as well for some chick to be gawking at you while youíre trying to cram massive amounts of information into your brain. (And Iím thinking about cramming appendages of yours into orifices of mine.)
Should we have wild, crazy, meaningless animal sex?
Distractions can be very detrimental to success in law school, and should be eliminated whenever possible.
As detailed above in the facts, my desire to be plowed by you is a major distraction from my studies. Itís got to be a distraction to you as well since itís probably unnerving to be stared at by a predatory sex-starved woman as if she wants to take a bite out of you. Per the above rule, this distraction to both of us needs to be eliminated for us to graduate from law school and pass the bar exam.
Solution? We get it on! I get it out of my system. You not only get laid, but you get the added benefit of not feeling my eyes burning into the side of your head (or your crotch) all through class. We move happily along with our legal education unimpeded by the distraction of sexual tension.
Afraid of possible disadvantages? Iíll address any potential concerns here. The quotes are you, and my response follows.
ďWill I catch any diseases?Ē Nope. Clean as a whistle. Just got out of a long-term relationship and have only been with one person for the past 3 years. Got tested anyway though, and all is well in My-Vagina Land. (Except for its burning desire to be filled with your throbbing manhood.)
ďWill you stalk me, or expect a relationship or commitment in return?Ē NO. You get free NSA sex. As mentioned above, Iím recently out of a long-term relationship. Iím not ready for another one nor do I have the time.
ďWhat if itís really bad, and we end up having to awkwardly avoid one another in class for the next 4 years?Ē I donít plan on it being bad, at least on my end. Hopefully our encounter (or encounters, if it was so crazy awesome we decided to make it an ongoing FB arrangement) would go as follows: We leave class after our respective long days of work and school, both cranky, irritable and in desperate need of blowing off some steam. We go to your place or mine, whichever is closer. Maybe we engage in various acts of foreplay, or maybe weíre both ready to get to the main attraction so fuck it. You look like you would be HUGE, but I will still bravely tackle that monster and try my best to deep throat the whole thing. You then throw me down on the bed, floor, or any available surface, and have your way with me. This would ideally involve some spanking, hair pulling, and/or explicit dirty talk.
ďWhat if a lot of women in the class stare at me, and Iím not sure which one you are? What if youíre one of the old or fat chicks, or really ugly?Ē Iím not going to describe my exact appearance because I will die of embarrassment if someone else in the class sees this and even speculates as to who I am. (Particularly a man I have dubbed Leery McPervert who stares at me the way I probably stare at you. I donít want that dirty old man getting a boner knowing Iím all juiced up in class.) Yes I know I haven't even identified the law school, but I'm paranoid so bite me. (I mean that in the vernacular sense. But if you want to take it literally, I'd enjoy that too.) Anyway, Iím close to your age (twentysomething). When I look at myself I see ďcuteĒ but I get told Iím pretty, ďbeautifulĒ even. Iím not perfect, but I get hit on, catcalled and sexually harassed frequently enough to assume I must be at least somewhat doable. I even think Iíve seen you giving me a look or two. Or maybe itís just wishful thinking.
For both of us to succeed in law school and ultimately pass the bar exam (and for me to not end up on the Megan's Law website for losing all self-restraint, walking across the room in the middle of class, and mounting you), we will need to have sex ASAP. Sexual proposition affirmed.
- Location: law school
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests