To all you whining, self-absorbed pieces of shit who hate LA: Get the fuck out of my city! It was paradise before you carpet baggers and Okies started clogging up our roads and taking up precious space and air. Sorry our city isn't accomodating enough for you. Wherever the fuck you Ashton Kutcher, Rockstar, Britney Spears wannabes came from, get on the bus that brought you here and go the fuck back. Take off those blue, lightly tinted shades that you wear inside, so I can look into your eyes before I stomp you. You can't learn to surf at twenty-five because you will always suck and you are dangerous in the water.It is not cute that you have never seen the ocean before, and better yet, jump right in and hopefully an undercurrent will drag you out to sea and some juvenile great white sharks will chomp on you and spit you out. "Oooooh! I thought it would be the same as Lake Michigan or the wave pool at the water park!" You can't learn how to play guitar at twenty-five, because your limp wristed hands and sausage fingers have to be trained at an early age! How would you like it if the town you were born and raised in had it's population almost double in the past fifteen years? "What we gonna do, Pa? We have to pay the landlord twice as more chickens each month for the shack, because all these furiners be comin'!"
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The reason why rent is so expensive is because you clam chowder eating, tumble weed chasing, New York accented (how the fuck did New Yorkers change from asking each other "Would you like a spot of tea, old chap" to "Where's my fuckin' slice over heyah?"), pasty fuckin' cow tippers and big city stacks of shit will pay $1000 for a one bedroom. And the reason LA people are so rude is because they are all transplants like you, brainless cyborgs that would wear a fucking top hat to a BBQ if you thought you would look cool, or Mr. Blackwell told you. Unfortunatley, I am beginning to hate LA as well because every time I leave my house or drive my car, I want grab you buy the ears and baby shake your asses to death. Dog Town, Z-Boys, locals, Skate and Destroy, STL, Scandals, SXR, Winos, LADS, Mota Locos, Fairfax High, Hollywood High, Venice High, Santa Monica High and LA High alumni rule. And for you people who went to a highschool that is known by a number or the name of the adventurer that was the first to take a piss in the stream and call it his town, bow down and grovel like the mongrels you are. All you guys take it in the ass because your girlfriend bought a strap on, and all you "ladies" got your set PA job or assistant position because to have big tits and a corn fed ass. So please, I implore you, when times get too tough and you have to post in Erotic Services to suck dick to pay rent, or when you are fuming and sitting among the rest of your border-hopping buddies in traffic and are about to scream, please consider going the fuck back to Mommy and Daddy. Can I get some back up from my LA-born brothers?