best of craigslist > los angeles > That rooster died!
Originally Posted: 2005-12-03 8:35pm

That rooster died!

Dear fuckface who dropped the rooster off in the Peck Water Conservation Park,

The rooster is dead. This is your fault. I'm sure you "thought" it was a good idea to get rid of your unwanted rooster (or your ghetto neighbor's annoying rooster) by dropping him off to spend the rest of his days in freedom amongst the wildlife at the park but let's analyze this ...

A) He was a rooster.
B) Roosters eat grain/feed/rooster food.
C) Roosters like to spend their time with hens.
D) The Peck park is full of ducks, bunnies, some feral cats, fish, ground squirrels and birds. (Note - No hens, no roosters.)
E) The ducks, bunnies, fish, feral cats, ground squirrels et al have adapted to (by evolutionary means or sheer fortitude) to life in the wild.
F) Ducks, bunnies, fish, feral cats, ground squirrels et al do NOT eat feed/grain/rooster food. The best you could really hope for was that the citizens who bring bread to the ducks might spare a few crusts for the rooster.

I give the rooster some credit - it tried to fit in with the ducks and attempted communication. But duck and rooster.... nope - NOT the same language.

It went something like this:

ROOSTER: Cock a doodle do. Cock a doodle.... doodle... do.
DUCK: Quack. Quack Quack.

It was impossible to begin with!

This would be like me going to Mexico and saying:

ME: Hello friends! I am hungry, alone and confused. Please help me.
THEM: (pointing finger at me) ** Mire, mexicano del compañero, de que mujer de discurso está intentando conseguir nuestra atención. Me pregunto lo que ella está diciendo. Podemos fingir esperar a escuchar un rato más adelante pero nos dejamos ahora no hacer caso de ella. Ella manejará en sus la propia. ** (Then they walk away en masse towards the steaming tamale pot.)

The rooster lasted in the park for several days until he decided, last night, to give up on trying. At approximately 6:45pm he commit suicide by stepping into oncoming traffic on Peck Road.

Not only have you sacrificed the life of one rooster - you've probably traumatized a poor El Montian who was suddenly face to face (or bumper to beak) with the ill-fated rooster.

So SHAME ON YOU for your initial bad taste in pets, or your evil neighbor pet stealing ways. And shame on the Park groundskeepers who probably have some sort of animal control on speed dial! The rooster wasn't exactly hiding!

Signed,

Rooster Mourner

**** Alta Vista BabelFish says this means: "Look, fellow Mexicans, that speaking woman is trying to get our attention. I wonder what she is saying. We can pretend to listen for a while later but let's ignore her now. She'll manage on her own." Or actually it says it means, "Watch, Mexican of the companion, of which speech woman is trying to obtain our attention. I ask myself what she is saying. We can pretend to hope to listen more ahead awhile but we let ourselves now not pay attention to her. It will handle in his the own one."****

post id: 115631855

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