Best of Craigslist

Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best postings from craigslist.org, selected by readers en-us Copyright 2009, craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best of Craigslist Collection 2009-06-04T15:55:19-05:00 2 daily Found: empty beer bottles. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/1205588089.html Attention! I've found a half finished Keystone Light, an empty fifth of Smirnoff vodka, and and one empty Corona with a lemon wedge. They were abandoned in my yard, alone and scared. Right now, they are staying in the empty Bud Light box with a litter of empty Smirnoff Light bottles in my garage. One of them is injured from being run over with a lawn mower, but is being nursed back to health. They are so cute, and all of them are housebroken! I am looking for a good home for these little foundlings, but they are a pack - I won't have them broken up. If you are a white trash piece of shit who enjoys drunk driving around the neighborhood at 2 am and throwing your shit on everyone's yard, I think these would make an adorable addition to your trailer park. <ul> <li> Location: Kansas City, MO <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-06-04T15:55:19-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/1205588089.html Found: empty beer bottles. text Trade Cockatiel for Wedding Ring http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/1147985197.html Want to trade adorable bird for wedding ring. I purchased this cockatiel for my girlfriend on Valentines Day 2008. It turns out that cockatiels are great pets except for the constant shedding, pooping, screaming and absolute lack of affection for its owners. Harrington is the bird's name and he would like to come live with you, however, my girlfriend has formed an attachment to this animal. Apparently, she thinks it is cute when he buzzes by our heads at 100mph or screams as loud as he can while we try to take a mid afternoon, Sunday nap. Some of his other great qualities include: 1. Chasing the dog. Jaxson is our dog's name. She leaves the room at the first notion that Harrington is free from his cage. The bird weighs a few ounces and the dog 75lbs but Harrington rules the roost, so to speak. 2. Watching TV. Harrington loves CNN - something about political talk on TV really gets Harrington going. I prayed he would rupture his vocal cords during the 24hour coverage of the 2008 presidential election. 3. Total independence. Harrington's wings have grown out since we got him in Feb. 2008. He can fly, fast. He doesn't want to be handled, touched, or even looked at. He has a tendency to hiss just before he bites, so in his defense, we are given some warning. My girlfriend loves animals! All animals! Unfortunately, she has created an unexplainable bond with this bird. If it were up to me, I would set him free but I fear I would be set free as well. I think the sting of loosing her bird would be lessened if I had a wedding ring to replace him with. I would like to trade this wonderful pet (cage and all his paraphernalia included) for a wedding ring. The ideal candidate would be a deaf woman who recently broke off her engagement and is looking for a hands-off companion. If you know someone, please pass along this posting. <img src="1147985197.1.jpg"> <img src="1147985197.2.jpg"> <img src="1147985197.3.jpg"> <img src="1147985197.4.jpg"> <ul> <li> Location: Westport/Plaza <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-04-30T14:51:40-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/1147985197.html Trade Cockatiel for Wedding Ring text Your Pets Will Not Be Flagged For Removal By Jesus During the Rapture http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/725674463.html FLAGGERS: Over half the United States population has legitimate concerns about what will happen to their pets after the rapture occurs. Please respect their faith and allow this service to remain posted, just as the waste removal and grooming posts remain posted. Again, over half of the US population feels that this is a concern to them. If there is a specific problem with the ad, please email me. Thank you. <center> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "No one knows when that day or hour will come. Even the angels in heaven and the Son don't know. Only the Father knows." (Matthew 24:36) "For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord." (1 Thessalonians 4:15–17) </center> Have you ever thought about what will happen to your pets after Jesus comes back to claim the souls of the saved during the Rapture and deliver them to heaven to enjoy ever lasting life? The bible clearly teaches that only those that have accepted Jesus as their savior will enter heaven (John 14:6, Romans 3:23), and we all know that pets do not have the cognitive ability to do this, so what will happen to your beloved pets? Surely without you there, they would be stuck inside your empty house, starving to death with no one to feed them, let them out to potty, or clean their litter box. This is probably not what you envision for your pets after you are gone. This is where I come in. I am here to offer you pet care service for after the rapture. As an atheist, I will surely still be here on this earth post rapture and would love to look after your pets for a small fee and make sure they are still well taken care of after you and your family have been raptured. You will be able to look down on them from heaven and see them being well cared for by me and living happy, healthy lives. Do not let my atheism scare you! I am a moral and loving pet owner and would never do harm to any animal. For a small deposit of only $50, you can be assured that your pets will be well cared for from the time that you are raptured until the end of their natural life. They will get adequate amounts of food, water, and shelter as well as plenty of exercise and socialization as I would imagine there will be a lot of pets that will be abandoned by Jesus the pet hater that will need to be cared for. If interested, please email me for my PayPal address (you can also send me a check if you prefer) so you can assure that your pets will be taken care of after Jesus comes to take your soul to heaven. $50 is only a small price to pay to know that while you are enjoying everlasting bliss, your pets will be cared for until their end days. Thanks and have a great day! Please do not flag this ad. It is very serious. <center> <img src="http://www.cyberpog.com/images/rainbowbridge.jpg"> <ul> <li> Location: Kansas City <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-06-19T15:59:20-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/725674463.html Your Pets Will Not Be Flagged For Removal By Jesus During the Rapture text lvl 8 ogre mage seeks moon queen or druid http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/395322346.html I am a lvl 8 warrior seeking my adventuring companion for game play and fornication. I partake in only adventure/fantasy role play, no creepy goth stuff, it’s too weird. Only sanctioned spells allowed, costume dress optional but preferred. I have the body of a wandering Norwegian brawler and short brown hair. Please be quite buxom and imaginative for play and enjoy fantasy role play aesthetics. Please send pics, leves, preferred adventure type and spell list. We could go get dinner (under $20), and watch a movie. Also I’m allergic to cats.  <img src=395322346.1.jpg> <img src=395322346.2.jpg>  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: the lair (mission) <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-08-12T14:06:38-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/395322346.html lvl 8 ogre mage seeks moon queen or druid text