best of craigslist > chicago > Sex with The Voice On The Train
Originally Posted: 2005-08-16 9:59am

Sex with The Voice On The Train

Someone in this thread mused, "Anyone know if this guy is hot? He sounds like it."

Okay, get ready for some sex with the CTA train and bus voice. First, get that voice properly in your head, not only its sound but pacing and intonation:
  • This is the Brown Line to Kimaball.
  • Wel-come to Red. Line. Run. Number Eight-Twenty-Three. . .
  • Doors closing {ding dong!}.
  • We are being delayed waiting for signals ahead. We expect to be moving shortly
Ready? Good, here we go.

Hey. there. baby. Wel-come to my bedroom. I know that soliciting for sex or property as hot as yours is prohibited, but I could not pass you by. You are beyond sex-y. Are you interested in me? I am being delayed waiting for signals from you.

(there's some kissing and groping until)

{beep beep beep} Your attention please. My penis is experiencing an equipment problem. I am working to correct the problem with a little blue pill. I hope to be moving in and out of you shortly.

(some time later. . .)

There. That is better.

{ding dong!}Legs opening!

Wait? You are on your period? That is o-kay. I can transfer from the Red Line to the Brown Line. Turn around. Butt-cheeks opening! Ahhhh. This, is Grand.

Mmmmm. Ooooh. An inbound sperm-train from the testicles will be arriving shortly. Mmmmm. Ooooh. This, is Orgasm. As far as this cock goes. All passengers must leave my cock.

Please do not light up a cigarette after sex. Smoking, littering and playing radios or loud devices is prohibited in my bedroom.

Thank you for riding the CTA announcer!

post id: 91385954

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