best of craigslist > chicago > Straight up, the best fucking dollar I will EVER spend!
Originally Posted: 2005-08-10 8:19am

Straight up, the best fucking dollar I will EVER spend!

Being bored and feeling like acting stupid, I posted this on Casual Encounters yesterday:

http://chicago.craigslist.org/cas/89878474.html

Now, given the title--I want to pay ONE DOLLAR for sex with a hot chick. - m4w - 33--I figured it was pretty obvious that I was fucking around and that I'd get exactly squat as a reply.

Not so, my friends!

7 responses--two guys asking me to tell them if I got anything, two crazy girls calling me a fucking pig bastard motherfucker (I'm paraphrasing), one chick who was curious but not serious, and ...

TWO CHICKS WHO SAID YES! THAT'S RIGHT--TWO!

Now, I first figured they were shitting me, because I'm not a gullible shit-for-brains. So I decide I'm going to fuck with them back. I e-mail both of them saying that another chick ageed to meet me already and that I told her about the other girl ... AND that she was willing to have a threesome with me and the other girl. I figured that was it and I wouldn't hear anything else back, or they'd e-mail me and tell me to go have fun with the other chick. Right?

Wrong like a MOTHERFUCKER!

Both chicks said, "Cool, let's do it!" I shit you the fuck not.

So I'm wondering when the alarm clock is going to go off and wake my ass up as I'm heading over to one of the girl's houses--Marissa. I get there and she's all giggly and smoking a joint. And fucking hot, about my height (around 5-11), black hair, great eyes. Her pic didn't do her a fucking bit of justice. She looked about 15 pounds bigger in the pic she sent me--which had nice tits, but her face was a bit chubby in it. But, since I was supposedly going to get laid for a buck, fuck it, right?

Turns out she just lost about 45 pounds over the last year and is now enjoying the benefits of being hot.

The other girl, Marnie, shows up about 15 minutes later, while me and Marissa are talking and getting over being nervous or whatever. She's short, great ass, blonde--perfect for a toss-around fucking, if you get into that.

So the two of them are smoking the weed and I'm drinking a beer, and I say what I'm thinking--"You two are friends and you're fucking with my head, right?" Because that's GOTTA be what's going on. They look at each other, then me, and say they have never met each other before.

So just to push it, because if they are screwing with me, this would be the where it all comes out, I reach into my wallet and take out a dollar.

AND THEY EACH TAKE OUT A CONDOM!

So now I'm thinking "Holy motherfucking shit, they're serious" ... and they were!

I'm not going to go in to details, but thanks to my smart-ass, completely not serious post on Casual Encounters, I had a fucking threesome with two goddamned honest to goodness hotties. We went through about five condoms, I got my dick sucked like a lollypop more times than I can remember, and my balls and cock are so fucking sore it hurts to wear underwear right now. But I am a smiling motherfucker.

The only downside to this was that afterwards, Marnie asks me if I'm going to punch myself in the face. Marissa says that yeah, I should punch myself TWICE since there were two of them. I'm going, "yeah, right" but they actually insisted that since I got fucking laid for a buck by both of them, that I'd better man-up and punch myself in the mug. And HARD. Marissa says, "If I'm 'ho-ing myself out for 50 cents, you're going home with a bruise on your face, dude."

So I say what the fuck and give myself a couple of good shots in the face. But as I said, I'm grinning like a fucking clown because I got to bang two chicks for being an idiot on here.

Sometimes life is just too strange to even comprehend.

Now, how's this for a v-word? Cheers, my friends!

post id: 90119065

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