I must confess to all of you. I have become a little obsessed with the Missed Connections section of Craigslist. There is just something so compelling about the concept. All over the city, people are almost meeting. Think of all the wonderful relationships that almost are every single day. All the unhealthy or abusive relationships that are avoided. It’s almost poetic.
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And every day I return here, looking for . . . I don’t know what. Me? Do I hope to spot myself? Or someone I know?
Or maybe to hear a story – someone who actually met their missed connection. In my head someone sees a description of themselves on Craigslist (‘Wait, I was that barista’ or ‘Hey, I was shopping at that Dominic’s at 6PM last night’). Tentatively, that person sends an email to the anonymous address. Details are compared, pictures are exchanged. The two flirt over email, bemused by how needle-in-a-haystack the odds of having found each other again are. They meet at Starbucks for coffee. Yes, of course they go to Starbucks. Coffee leads to dinner which leads to a fiery affair. Days of laughter and nights of passionate sex.
As the days drag on, though, the two discover little things about each other that annoy. He wears his dirty shoes on her new carpet. She’s never on time. And the little things were just the beginning. Suddenly issues arise over family and race and the two aren’t having sex, like, ever. Before you know it, the relationship is over.
What can I say, sometimes the glass is half empty. And sometimes the half-empty glass is more interesting.
But, I digress. The reason I am writing is about my own quest for a missed connection. Put simply, I want, and please notice my effort to establish my credibility by displaying my familiarity with Craigslist parlance, an MC.
So I started hanging out at what appear to be the most likely places one might have an MC. Starbucks, of course. But my barista barely notices me in the morning and everyone else seems too busy ordering their half-caf double skim no-whip whatevers to even notice me, let alone indulge in some lingering eye contact. The El platform seemed promising, especially given the fact that I get on in the heart of Lincoln Park, but everyone is reading. I made the Lincoln Park/Lakeview/Wrigleville bar circuit, and while I met some interesting women, it doesn’t seem to count as a “missed” connection when you end up with a phone number. I walked down Michigan Ave. There I did make eye contact with a very attractive woman. Our eyes lingered as I approached her. Could this be it? But then she said, “stop staring,” and so I don’t that that counts. I shop at Whole Foods and Dominics and Jewel and have never once almost met someone in the frozen foods section. I don’t belong to Bally’s, so I guess I could try that, but to be honest I kinda like the gym I’m at.
So, anyway, if you’d like to be my missed connection, drop me a line. Maybe we could arrange to be at opposite sides of an El platform at a certain time or something. At this point I’m willing to try anything.