Originally Posted: 2005-04-06 5:09pm
You are my joke and now we are getting married. - w4m
I met you on a Catholic dating website where I was just looking for a nice guy after my current boyfriend pulled a total dick move on me. I told you that I was a church going, devout Catholic. Sure, I went to Catholic school, but I haven’t been to church since my mom made me go when I was home for Christmas mass. I told you that I was saving myself for marriage. Hell, I even told you that I didn’t believe in giving blow jobs and would only do so for my husband. The more we talked online the more ridiculous my lies were becoming. I never anticipated that I would actually meet you in person or anything, you were like my procrastination method at work and my own private joke. I had fun with it. I told you that I hated to waste money and that I was very frugal. Little did you know, my current boyfriend, who I was sleeping with, was a corporate attorney who “makes more money than time” (his words not mine) and we had a very lavish lifestyle.
I took the joke to the next level when I agreed to meet you for dinner that night. I started seeing you on the side until I dumped the attorney for you. My Catholic parents have always wanted me to meet “a nice Catholic” boy since I wasn’t able to when I went to my catholic college, so they went along with my lies about my church attendance because they really liked you. They also will vouch for the chaste life I have led because they do not want to believe any differently.
So now you see I’m in a huge quandary. I agreed to marry you. I totally love everything about you. It is too late for me to tell you the truth, so hit best of (you know that button in the top right hand corner) so that my fiancé can see this (since he reads the best ofs) and then determine where he wants to go with it.
I just don’t have the heart to tell you, but hey, if you do decide to still marry me, our wedding night is going to be awesome because I'm horny as all hell!