Originally Posted: 2005-04-01 1:19pm

Stop telling people to vote your post "best of"

So the new "best of" posts came out this weekend, and I've noticed a disturbing trend: people begging readers to click "best of" (top right). I'm sure somewhere making that list is a big honor, but really, it kind of takes away from it if you have to ask people to do it.

I understand about the one guy who was trying to get his girlfriend back. I'm sure a lot of girls thought that was really cute, and maybe some time on "best of" they'll get to see if he ever got the girl. Hey, if it doesn't work out I'm sure he can get a few dates just because he's so adorable.

But nobody else has any business asking people to click on "best of." Think about who you've impressed. There are two basic types of people reading your work. First are the ones at their offices killing time. You're their last resort to keep themselves amused -- the standards aren't particularly high. You beat out game number 10,584 of solitaire, congratulations.

The others are sitting at home checking out craigslist.org/about/best (they have the url memorized) at least once a day because when those posts go up it makes their week. If you're really lucky they might even read your post to their cat.

Obviously I read that stuff too, so I fall into one of those categories. And "best of" does amuse me. But it totally ruins it when you beg people to click that link for you. It takes all the sincerity out of the post.

If you really hate your high school, just send them the damn letter and post the shit on the internet. Do it for the joy of ruining somebody's day and making them feel shitty about the job they're doing, not to inflate your ego.

I couldn't tell what the angry lesbian chick was saying about men, but as a man, I would have been much more scared of her had she not felt the need to beg for some validation at the end.

Finally, the loser who was so proud of his idea for a license plate. What was the joke? You wanted a plate that said FGWBUSH? Do you really want everybody to know that that was your cleverest moment? Or was it that you said it was an ancient Danish word? I can't believe you posted that, I can't believe you actually *wanted* it put up on "best of" so as many people saw it as possible, and I can't believe anybody voted for it.

People where is the love? What happened to posting stories about exes just to fuck them over? What happened to missed connections just because you didn't have the balls to say anything? It's all a show now, everybody just wants to get themselves on "best of."

I guess I can handle the fact the some people are show-offs and want people to read their stuff. But don't be that guy yelling "hey everybody, look at me!" So I'm rebelling. None of you motherfuckers better click on "best of." This post sucked anyway.

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