I Need A Sidekick.
Wanted: One individual with right qualities to assume the role of sidekick for aspiring cultural attaché. Sidekick should possess all qualities of loyalty, humor, and ability to drink a lot that one might expect from right hand man/woman. Ideal candidate is shorter than I am (6'2'')) but not shorter than is prudent ((F-5'00'' M-5'10'')). Sidekick should be willing to fight, be the butt of jokes, be woken up at odd hours and asked to write things down for me, etc. Candidates with nice stuff (Apartment, TV, Good Music Collection, Vehicle...Vehicle is very important as I'm sick of walking everywhere) and attractive friends (Female friends preferred) highly encouraged to apply.
About me: 27 y/o Male with big ideas and zero motivation. In need of someone who is my intellectual equal, and yet can be pushed around. Social, though previously mentioned lack of motivation requires that I spend most of my time at home. Work Full-time and make vague plans to '...start a band." or "...run for office." etc.
Crime-fighting type of sidekick not necessary, though possible and will be given a fair shake. Sidekick should provide their own nickname, if no nickname is provided and insulting one will be assigned (probably insulting physical characteristic least attractive on sidekick.) Would be nice if sidekick was also good cook and liked baseball, VU.