best of craigslist > chicago > RANT: Fucking BUGS in my FUCKING apartment
Originally Posted: 2004-06-14 1:45am

RANT: Fucking BUGS in my FUCKING apartment

Okay. WHERE. in the FUCK. are all these bugs coming from?!!!!

Jesus Christ! It's like it got warm out and every bug in Chicago has taken refuge from the heat in my apartment!

The fucking flies in my shower: I demand an explanation. I fucking kill all four of you every morning, only to wake up and find that you have reanimated yourselves. What kind of fucked up voodoo shit are you four up to in there while I'm asleep?

And the gnats that keep landing on my computer screen? Who ARE you?!! Fuck OFF!!

To the spiders: spiders as big as you can only have one function, and it has to be something utterly terrible like eating children or paralyzing dogs or something. So what the fuck are you doing in my apartment all the time? And for the love of all that is good and holy, when I come at you with a wad of toilet paper, PLEASE stop that fucking JUMPING bullshit!!! My God! Do you not HEAR me shriek like a little girl every time? Are you TRYING to humiliate me? Do you get a KICK out of making a grown man screech like a schoolgirl?! Just fucking let me grab you in the toilet paper wad and fucking take it like a man!

And the silverfish? I'm sorry. You are by far the most disgusting creatures on earth and you are the most cogent evidence of the existence of Satan that I can think of. What in the hell do you need all those fucking legs for? You are utterly gross.

And finally, to the junebugs: HOW IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL ARE YOU GETTING IN HERE??!!! You're all ENORMOUS!!!! Where the hell are you COMING from? You're fucking disgusting!!! STAY THE HELL OUTSIDE!!!!


this is in or around Eew.

post id: 33677778

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