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People who need to be killed on the 156 LaSalle bus at 8am.
1. Smelly armpit man – just because there are handrails above your head, doesn’t mean that you have to share your BO with the entire bus. And before work, nonetheless. Have you ever heard of showers?
2. Verizon ringtone guy – just because you’ve only recently received your Verizon phone in the mail, doesn’t mean that you need to share all of your ringtones with the whole bus. PICK ONE ALREADY! And don’t pick the Verizon one, as it is the most annoying and people will want to kill you.
3. Art school girls – just because the two of you are roomies and love to ride the bus together to your over-priced art school that will get you nothing but an unemployment check, doesn’t mean that you should knock everyone down with your oversized, fancy leather portfolios and the tubes you carry over your shoulders that house your “art”. Get over yourselves.
4. Neck craning woman – I know you are pissed that I won’t move farther back on the bus, but I don’t feel like standing plastered up against smelly armpit guy. Stop craning your neck around me to show me that there’s more room to move to the back of the bus. Are you mute? Are your feet broken? I don’t care if you want me to move back. I paid my buck seventy-five and I need a little room.
5. Woman who exits at Chicago Ave- You know you work on Chicago Avenue. You go there five times a week. So why do you sit in the middle of the bus and then yell when you can’t get out? Take the brown line.
6. Mushroom hair girl – you know who you are. You need a new haircut. And fast. And your over made-up face is not fooling anyone.
7. Gum smacking MP3 girl- Question: are you blasting your MP3 so that you don’t have to hear yourself smack your gum? I want to poke your eyes out.
Thank you for riding the CTA.