To the man last night who so romantically opened his car window, put his fingers up to his mouth, and tantalized me by sticking out his tongue and making licking motions between his fingers:
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I am so sorry that the light turned green and you had to drive off.
In a perfect world, the light, sensing the intense chemistry between us, would have remained red forever so I could gaze at your amorous gesture all night long.
But, alas, this is Chicago and traffic waits for no one, not even two soulmates (as I truly believe we are) greeting one another for the first time.
You must have thought I was really beautiful, because you were too sweet and shy to say anything more to me than "pussy" as you licked in my direction. While we both know that every girl loves to hear this sweet word whispered in her ear (or in our case, shouted to her from a mid-80's El Camino), why not throw in a phone number next time? That way I don't have to send you this open love letter in front of all these strangers. Just the thought of sharing our moment of passion with them makes me blush!
Whoever you are, your mother obviously taught you how to treat a lady. Please pass on my congratulations to her for raising a true gentleman. Believe me, men like you are few and far between!
The Girl Who You Said "Pussy" to Last Night
P.S. I hope you don't do this to ALL the girls in the neighborhood! Please don't...you'll drive me mad with jealousy.