best of craigslist > chicago > to the health hazard in Regenstein library
Originally Posted: 2003-08-21 12:14am

to the health hazard in Regenstein library

To the talented young man who's been shitting in the B-level bathroom of Regenstein Library:

You must stop.

There is an acceptable range of offensive shits that can be taken in this bathroom, but you far fall above this range.

I was pissing within several feet of you on tuesday, and I was having trouble breathing (through my mouth). I had to apply a reverse pressure to my nose to expel the the particles of your stink which had lodged in my nostrils.

I could actually feel the cloud of stink that surrounded me. The churning intestinal sounds which accompanied your staccato expelling must have come from way up in that contaminated infrastructure that you call your intestines. Let me tell you my friend, you are not well. You should not be shitting in public. It is quite possible that you should be quarantined.

Your shit stink clung to my skin and clothes and skin and made me nauseous for and hour.

You need to stay home until this is cleared up.

I missed you today, but I knew that you had been there before me, perhaps hours before. Once again I was assaulted by the putrid cloud that you had emitted. Your stink was dense in the air, and its circumference almost engulfed the bathroom. Once again, you smell stuck to me and followed me.

This is completely unacceptable. I can only imagine how many people your odor had assaulted and pursued. The B-level bathroom is used by a great many males who would like to peacefully shit in a low traffic bathroom. These men produce acceptably disgusting sounds and smells. I can certainly understand that this bathroom would be your first choice to unleash your public health hazard in relative quiet. But let me tell you: YOU ARE DESTROYING THE SANCTUARY. YOU MUST STOP.

If you do not stop, steps will be taken. This is not a funny matter. This is not the kind of excessive excretory stink that you would brag to your friends about. This is a serious health issue and it is affecting us all.

One more strike my friend and you are out.

Your reign of terror is coming to an end.

I am not alone.


post id: 15177752

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