best of craigslist > chicago > Who's on Craigslist?
Originally Posted: 2006-02-14 7:20pm

Who's on Craigslist?



1. Bored millinaires. The best kept secret around the world is that those living the life of luxury spend an inordinate amount of time on their yachts cruising craigslist. CL offers a forum for the really rich to tell us what they REALLY feel ...about mexicans, blacks, gays, liberals, etc.

2. Really hot and horny supermodels. The truly beautiful really do have it better. They have the leisure time to cruise CL. And if they find themselves incredibly horny, they just need to drop a line to a young stud to come over and service them. Just be sure to send a PIC first.

3. Shleprocks looking for advice: The truly unlucky inhabit CL, seeking guidance from those with enough wisdom to sit on CL all day without losing their job. These poor unfortunate souls have been handed lemons, and are looking for a really good recipe for lemonade. From the assaulted ("we went to my place to cuddle and he VIOLATED me...what should I do?") to the oblivious ("I passed out at my buddy's house and woke up with my pants at my ankles and his cock in my mouth...what should I do?"), CL offers advice on everything to everyone!

4. Great legal scholars. CL offers an opportunity for great legal scholars to take time away from their million dollar practices and intense billable hours to provide pro bono legal advice to the downtrodden. These opinions should all be prefaced by "Trust me, I'm a lawyer . . ."

5. Aryan Ubermen: It has long been rumored that Dr. Mengele escaped nazi germany and set up a secret lab in the rain forests of brazil to produce genetically pure aryan supermen to one day conquer the world. Apparently, the lab has internet access. When these lords among men are not busy preparing for the fourth reich, they like to unwind by regaling us with the inferiority of jews, blacks, mexicans and bolscheviks!

6. Sensitive guys with pent up emotions. You are a pacifist. You are environmentally aware. You recycle. You ride a bike. You don't wear fur. Yu are ok with your girlfriend not giving head. But you want to fucking KILL George Bush and Dick Cheney.

7. The Sexual Dynamos. Apparently, Chicago is populated by hot blondes with 36c cups and insatiable sexual appetites. Of COURSE you consider it your duty to wake your significant other with a blow job every morning (of COURSE you swallow). And its nice to know SOMEONE is cool with the threesome thing. And anal once a week is certainly not too much to ask, as long as it doesn't interfere with your weekly date with your equally dynamic fuck buddy.

8. The Sexually Confused Guy. Apparently, in the world of CL, a guy sucking cock is not automatically gay. Because he doesn't FEEL gay. He just likes to suck cock. He likes it in a boat. He likes it with a goat. He likes cock. But he's NOT GAY! Get it?

post id: 133984132

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