looking for an MC this weekend? here's where i'll be.
i'll head home on the blue line towards o'hare around 7 PM. on the train, the slight margarita buzz i'll have will keep a tiny smile on my face as i read "the jungle" by upton sinclair, or the reader, whichever i'm in the mood for at the time. if offered your seat, i will flash you my great smile, complete with knockout dimples, and say, "no thank you - i've been sitting all day", but i will think you are a total honeyboy for offering, and find you pretty sexy as well.
i'll go home for a bit, chill out with the roommates, relax. the el runs fairly close to my loft apartment, and if i am in one of the living rooms or in the art studio, you might see me through the windows while you're heading to the logan square stop. i'll either be doing some yoga, or gettin down to some james brown, in order to loosen up for the rest of the evening, though i might happen to be standing by the window so i can shyly wave at you as you pass by.
later that night, i'll be looking hot with my hair up, wearing a black velvet button down shirt with a long black and white skirt, when i head out to the pontiac on damen to meet up with three of my girlfriends. we'll be at the bar, drinking vodka lemonades, and laughing a lot. i'll be the one with the incredible blue eyes smiling back at you all night, and looking at you with a burning glance as we leave the pontiac to head over to the gold star on division.
i'll probably play some pool at the gold star, and although i will be an enthusiastic pool player, i won't shoot a terribly impressive game - but i won't care, as i'll be having such a good time hanging out. i'll have a drink and then decide that i drink too much most of the time, and especially tonight, and that i should head home soon. then i'll have one for the road. when i finish that drink, i'll think about having another one, but i'll leave and grab a cab. i'll be drinking jack and coke while i'm there, by the way, which you should know for when you think about buying me a drink, but don't actually have the nerve to do it.
saturday, i'll be home in the morning, so your best bet for seeing me then is just riding the blue line back and forth between logan square and division, when the likelihood of seeing me through my apartment windows is quite high. i'll be watering the plants in the windows from about 11 to 12:30, so that's a good time to try and catch a fleeting glimpse of me.
later, i'll be at chicago comics for about two hours, starting around 3 PM. i'll spend most of my time there reading just about every damn zine on the rack and occasionally laughing out loud, especially when i read "meniscus". after i buy two magazines, i'll head over to shiroi hana for an early dinner, around 6 PM. you'll admire my obvious intellect, my social confidence, and my bodacious cleavage as i dine alone and read "godel, escher, bach: the eternal golden braid" by douglas hofstaeder, and bitch magazine.
saturday night, i'll head over to my friend jennifer's apartment in humboldt park via the california ave bus, and we'll walk to the spareroom on north ave. for an art thing between 7 and 9 PM. when the art thing is over, we'll head over to the velvet lounge for some music and cocktails. after some debate, we'll decide not to wind it up at the green mill, opting instead to make it an early night. i'll give you a cute little smile and wave as i walk outside, and leave you wishing you had gotten my number, instead of only taking away the memory of my flashing blue eyes and long shiny hair indelibly burned into your brain.
just in case we STILL haven't missed one another by this time, i'll be at the flying saucer on california for brunch, probably around 12:30. i'll be with three other people, two girls and a mexican guy, and we'll be sitting at the table near the front window. the morning sun will be illuminating my cheekbones in a way that you simply cannot forget, and i will be reading the horoscopes from the sun-times out loud in a silly dramatic voice to my friends. i will smile sweetly at you and ask what your sign is, and then read yours to you as well, but you will still be somewhat asleep and not aware enough to ask my for my number.
sunday afternoon, i'll be heading over to the lake to enjoy the sunshine. i'll travel uptown to hartigan beach, near the loyola red line stop, so you'll have a chance to run into me either on the train or at the beach itself. i will be wearing a black fuzzy sweater, jeans, and handpainted sunglasses. when it starts to get chilly, i'll take the red line to north and clybourn, and then transfer over to the north ave bus. i'll get off the bus at the damen sixway, and head into filter for a large chai latte with soy milk. you can find me there sitting at the table in the window, intermittently writing in my notebook or watching the people out on milwaukee ave. i'll be there for about two hours, and then i'll head home. sunday night, your best bet will be to take the train between logan square and damen, and you might catch a glimpse of me through my apartment windows, though i will be going to bed early, so try to make it before 10 PM.
so, that's where i'll be this weekend, my darling. and i'll start compulsively checking the MC list monday morning, waiting for you to post here so we can begin another craigslist storybook romance. all that remains is for you to see me, and boot up your computer.