Originally Posted: 2005-10-30 9:06pm
200 partners, same old song and dance
I was catching up on the posts and read the 200 partners thread pretty much as a whole. What strikes me as the most interesting thing about this debate is the frequent and repeated threats from men that they will not love a girl who has been promiscuous.
I am a woman who has slept with probably 100 men. I am 34. I met at least 30 of them online. I've been having sex for 17 years and have had three LTRs (3 years, 4 years, and 5 years respectively. at least the numbers are going up. looking for #4 - planning on making it 6 years ;) anyway.) I have had every kind of sexual relationship from LT to ST to one-night to no-strings affairs that went on for months and so on. I enjoy sex. A lot. In fact, it is one of my favorite things to do. I'm a vital, still sort-of young woman and I like pleasuring and being pleasured. End of story. I have other interests and hobbies. I have a rewarding career. I do not claim to be particularly good at intimacy or, imagine this, all that interested in experiencing it with most of the men that I have known. So. the fuck. what?
And this threat that you dangle out there, men - this "you are a whore and no decent man will love a whore" is just a sign of your impotence as a REAL MAN, in MY OPINION. All of your girls lie about their numbers of partners. A lot of them lie about whether or not they even love you. Many of you men who bitch about whores today, will be married to a frigid bitch tomorrow, and you will be cruising CE along with the rest of us - trying to get a little bit of the heat and the passion that you long for, but don't always have. You won't care how many partners your mistress has had as long as she fucks you like she means it. This I know, for a fucking fact, about some of you.
And as women, we LET men cow us with the threat of their disapproval. In fact, we encourage them to judge us through their hypocritical lens by lying to them about our sexuality, by hiding our sexuality, and by using it as a weapon with which to ensnare them.
The fact is, men have had a pretty sweet ride as far as sex goes. They have fucked with impunity, taken the sexual territory that they believed was rightfully theirs and frankly, raped us all of our own sexuality. And they continue to do so, behind our backs, to our faces, and all the hell over this freaking board.
It's a question of maturity. I'm not saying everyone should fuck around with as many people as I have or as 200partnersgirl has - I'm just saying compassion and decency and caring and THINKING without JUDGING should be priorities for you - not numbercrunching your way to relationship bliss. You are missing the whole bloody point.
Am I cynical? Yes. But I was cynical before I fucked 100 men. Have I fucked some of those men because of some dysfunctional neediness buried deep within me from my traumatic childhood? Yes, probably. But not all of them. ;) Not even most of them. Sometimes, a girl just wants to FUCK. Or be fucked. Do I harbor resentments for some of them? Hell yes! There was that one that I fell for so hard who could've cared less about me. I hate that guy. Jerk! But who doesn't harbor some resentment for the person that rejected them? It ain't most of y'all, I can tell you that...your resentments pour out in your posts day after day.
I'm tired of the threats from men - tired of the bullshit lines they feed us to suit their needs - tired of women being afraid to be honest about what is a very important part of themselves - tired of the same old debate.
I can only speak for me, but I don't need your fucking approval. It doesn't sound like 200partners girl does either. Maybe that's what really bothers you.
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