I just want to say "thank you" to the women of craigslist who select themselves out. I realized that I was taking the easy route, that I was taking for granted these women that I am not interested in, but who make it clear in their posts. But, to be honest, I should thank them, for posting ads that make it clear that I would be wasting their time and mine by replying. So I want to say thank you. Thank you to the women of craigslist who:

• Use the phase "work hard, play hard", (or the oh-so-much-better "work hard, play harder") "partner in crime" or "just as comfortable in jeans as in an evening dress". If that's the best, most creative you can manage when you have all the time in the world, I hate to think what you would be like in an actual conversation. And I don't intend to find out. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Give no information about themselves. Hey, I understand that you have a twenty-item laundry list of things that you are looking for in a man and I'm not going to fault you overmuch for that. However, if you post a list like that, but the only facts you give about yourself are your gender, height, weight and hair colour, you're not dealing fair and, more importantly, you've done very little to pique my interest. 70% of the women out there, easily, say they want a smart guy, and some of them actually give me a reason to believe them. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Talk about marriage. Or having kids. You're interested in that in the near future. I'm not. People want different things and you have been honest and forthright with what you want. I appreciate that. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Consider putting "GO CUBBIES!!!!!" in their ad to be a major draw. It is for many guys. Not so for me. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Title their posts "Looking for a NICE guy", "Looking for a normal guy", "Looking for a NICE, NORMAL guy", "Is chivalry dead?", or "where are are all the nice, normal guys?". These titles are not only so overused they've become trite and devoid of any meaning, (other than to indicate your lack of originality) but they generally indicate that you're bland, confused, or both. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Use the term "BBW". Not because you're fat, but because that is such an awful term. Being fat doesn't necessarily mean you're ugly. But being okay with your weight doesn't necessarily mean you're not ugly. Using that godawful term tells me that you are not, in fact, okay with your weight. Not deep down. And that's a shame. You should either fix it or accept it. But don't use a demeaning term like that. It's false pride to cover up an insecurity far bigger than your waistline could ever be. And that's not what I'm looking for. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Are looking for sugar daddies. Let me be the one billionth person here to say it: you are prostitutes. The funny thing is that, ethically, I have nothing against prostitution. However, in the extremely unlikely event that I ever slept with a prostitute, it would be with one who is honest about what she is. Hell, in the long run, she'd probably be cheaper, better in bed, and easier to deal with. To blatantly steal (and mangle) from Casablanca "I don't mind a prostitute. I object to one who puts on airs." I wish you'd be more honest about yourself, but.... Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  
• Who actually use "princess" to describe themselves. Unless your father is actually the ruling king of a U.N. recognized coutry, you have lost my interest. I understand that some men like a woman who is needy, high-maintenance, spoiled, self-centered and demanding. I'm just not one of those guys. Thank you, you have saved both of us the bother.
  

So, to all of the women who fall into the above categories: Thank you. I have no interest in you (as 95+% of you would have no interest in me) and you let me know right in your very first post. I appreciate that.