Originally Posted: 2005-05-18 6:22pm
the world's most uncomfortable futon
I'm a honest person. Let that shine like a beacon through the craigslist quagmire of lies and deceit. I'm not going to tell you this is a great futon, or even a tolerable futon. It is, by all that is holy, the World's Most Uncomfortable Futon (henceforth, for brevity, the WMUF).
It is possible to sleep on the WMUF. I've slept on it for eight months, and I almost never woke up wishing I'd chosen the floor instead. However, since the last eight months have been a bit of a dry spell for yours truly, I can't actually tell you how well the WMUF would hold up to the rigors of ardent love-making. The frame is only missing one screw (just one screw, one goddamned screw) so I imagine it'd take quite a bit of punishment (merciless, stinging punishment) before it actually fell apart.
At one point in its history, the WMUF maintained the upright 'couch' position. However, it hasn't tried this in quite a long time, and eight months of inactivity might have somewhat impaired its once reknowned flexibility and endurance.
But maybe you don't mind that. Maybe you like things a little hard and unforgiving. Maybe you like a little punishment - roughing it, shall we say. Or perhaps you would like to use the WMUF to punish someone yourself. In which case you should contact me. And take my futon.
Seriously. I've got to get it out of my house by the end of next week. Please, please, please take my futon. Trust me, I'll be alright sleeping on the floor.