Originally Posted: 2005-04-13 1:35pm
Flasher on the T
Solutions for being on a train with a man who pulls out his penis:
-Walk past him with a piece of paper in your hand and slice the thing.
-Spill your (hot) coffee on it.
-Tell him his fly is down
-Yell at the top of your lungs "HEY THIS GUY HAS HIS PENIS OUT!!"
-Stand next to him with a huge backpack on and turn around really fast so the backpack nails his penis ala an ignorant college kid.
-Tell him the guy on the train last night had a bigger one.
-Tell the person operating the train.
-Complain about it on Craigslist the next day.
-Turn your back to him.
-Ask him "Is that your penis in your lap or are you just happy to see me?"
-Ask him if, when he has sex, he prefers to just pull his penis through the hole in his pajamas.
-Mind your own business and let a guy air his dick out.
-Top it with some BBQ sauce and go to work.
-Shit in your hand and slap him with it.
-Make out with the girl sitting next to him.
-Set his clothes on fire.
-Set your own clothes on fire.
-Expose yourself. That'll show him who's boss.
-Start rubbing a strange guy's crotch to make the flasher wonder what he's doing wrong.
-Start talking crazily about the government and praising Jesus, or asking "DO YOU HAVE ANY SPARE CHAAAANGE" in a really raspy voice like that dude at Downtown Crossing...that oughta make him feel uncomfortable.
-Pull out your dildo/vibrator/Antonio Banderas blow-up doll and compare sizes.
-Declare "If anyone has a bigger dick than this guy show me and I'll suck you off"...and see how many people drop their pants.
-Smile and say "A little chilly in here, huh?"