Originally Posted: 2005-04-13 13:35 (no longer live)
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Flasher on the T

Solutions for being on a train with a man who pulls out his penis:

-Walk past him with a piece of paper in your hand and slice the thing.

-Spill your (hot) coffee on it.

-Tell him his fly is down

-Yell at the top of your lungs "HEY THIS GUY HAS HIS PENIS OUT!!"

-Stand next to him with a huge backpack on and turn around really fast so the backpack nails his penis ala an ignorant college kid.

-Tell him the guy on the train last night had a bigger one.

-Tell the person operating the train.

-Complain about it on Craigslist the next day.

-Turn your back to him.

-Ask him "Is that your penis in your lap or are you just happy to see me?"

-Ask him if, when he has sex, he prefers to just pull his penis through the hole in his pajamas.

-Mind your own business and let a guy air his dick out.

-Top it with some BBQ sauce and go to work.

-Shit in your hand and slap him with it.

-Make out with the girl sitting next to him.

-Set his clothes on fire.

-Set your own clothes on fire.

-Expose yourself. That'll show him who's boss.

-Start rubbing a strange guy's crotch to make the flasher wonder what he's doing wrong.

-Start talking crazily about the government and praising Jesus, or asking "DO YOU HAVE ANY SPARE CHAAAANGE" in a really raspy voice like that dude at Downtown Crossing...that oughta make him feel uncomfortable.

-Pull out your dildo/vibrator/Antonio Banderas blow-up doll and compare sizes.

-Declare "If anyone has a bigger dick than this guy show me and I'll suck you off"...and see how many people drop their pants.

-Smile and say "A little chilly in here, huh?"




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