Are you hot, Jewish and looking to piss off your parents?

Then look no further...

What I have to offer is the Total Parental Approval Annihilation Package.

(Bring me home and your parents will give you a new car just
to dump me, guaranteed.)

Package includes:

• One bitter Drunk (fine single malt scotch not included).


• Many highly visible tattoos.


• Tasteless jokes and poor table manners.


• Numerous mispronunciations and cultural insensitivities like "Chan-a-ka"
  and the irrepressible "Ch-al-la bread".


• and much more.

Terms and Conditions:

• Purchaser of said package (hereafter girlfriend) agrees to
  provide numerous car rides, including late night rides home from bar after
  Total Parental Approval Annihilation Package technician (hereafter
  boyfriend) has missed the last train.


• Girlfriend agrees to bare all costs associated with developing and
  maintaining boyfriend's bitter drunken state.


• Girlfriend agrees to not hold boyfriend liable for any damages he may
  incur while operating aforementioned new vehicle.


• Girlfriend agrees to frequent sexual encounters with boyfriend, with a
  typical duration of 10 minutes. (Foreplay is available as an option, however
  foreplay will only apply for the first month.)


• Maximum commitment is for six months and 50% of what ever sum parents
  offer to be rid of boyfriend.


• Boyfriend is not responsible for any sum of money "borrowed".


• All transactions are final.

I look forward to hearing from you.