To all the women I'm not fucking these days, I apologize
So as you may have noticed, I'm not fucking you these days. Perhaps you're getting fucked by somebody else, or perhaps you're not getting fucked by anyone. The crucial element, however, is that you're not getting fucked by me. It's a great experience, I know, and many women in this city who have fucked me before can attest to the fact. I'm six feet tall, gainfully employed, have a big dick, and can manage a 20-minute conversation without staring at your tits even once. I know that makes me a rarity in this city, and thus in demand.
Still, I'm not fucking you.
The sad truth is, I am fucking someone else-- a great girl I recently met. She is pretty, intelligent, nice tits (I typically glance at them in the 21st minute of conversation), killer body and great in the sack. Even more than the sex, which is both frequent and fantastic, I find that I actually like her for *her.* So I have decided to continue to keep fucking her, pretty much for as long as I can keep this thing going. And if it requires loyalty, flowers, candy, sweet whispers in her ear and dinners out, that's a small price to pay for hanging with this uber-cool chick.
Unfortunately, you other women by now are saying, "Wait a minute! If you're fucking her, when will there be time to fuck *me*?" And this is where the truth gets brutal-- until further notice, I won't be fucking you. I feel bad about that, since I consider it a public service to fuck as many of you as possible. But this girl has knocked my socks off and sacrifices must be made.
The terrible news is, you'll have to fuck someone else. Using the posts on this board as an indicator of the quality of men out there, I'm sure you'll agree this is a piss-poor situation for you to be in. And I admit, I have placed you there by falling for this other girl.
Hence... to all the women I'm not fucking these days, I apologize.