To the guy who's shit I just ruined, I'm sorry. When I walked in and saw the other stall door closed, I already felt bad for you. You see, I knew what was coming. It was my third time in in the last 2 hours. I felt bad because I've been in your shoes before.
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I know its nice when you have the handi-stall, all that room. I know the only thing that makes it better is having a clear bathroom, which you did. I know you had no idea what was coming thru the door. Again, I'm sorry.
I can't really imagine what was going on in your head when you heard the first wave of liquid pour out of me, not to mention the occasional gaseous release. Even I was disgusted by it. I know deep down you were praying that your own stench would mask that coming from the green cloud seeping under the stall, but I don't think it could have. Was it me, or did it sort of smell like blueberries?
There was a break, and I thought you would take it. You didn't, and wave two came on. I'm sorry for the grunting, but imagine red hot magma screaming out of you at roughly 3000 mph. Yes, that's what it felt like. I tried to keep quiet, but couldn't. I'm sorry. I know this must have disturbed you. As I didn't hear you dialing 911, I assume you left your phone at your desk.
I have to admire your will to stick it out though. Maybe you passed out now that I think of it, cause you weren't making any noise when I left. I'll check on you in about 15 minutes. I hope you're okay, and again, I am really sorry. Its all Taco Bell's fault.