Originally Posted: 2004-05-24 3:39pm
Refund from God
Dear God, [or as so many here have inferred, non existent cloud being]
First of all I’d like to apologize for the sporadic attendance at services recently. Many of the fine people here on Craig’s list have informed me that you don’t exist and that I’m merely a sheep being herded by this evil pope guy. I realize that as an a la carte Catholic I may be excluding myself from the sacraments that your vocal lay people here on earth are trying to stop from being given to the many politicians.
I’m not writing about that god. I’ve seen you being addressed by many people on Craig’s list so I’ve decided to place this tiny little rant in the hope that some good may come of it. I’m sure it will be flagged because it does invoke your name and some people do not like that. Maybe this should be in MC because that is really what it is.
So god please tell me, is there anyway I can get the three $100 bills I inadvertently dropped into the collection box last Sunday. You may keep the twenty odd $1 bills that those nice crisp franklins were wrapped in. I just think that I could put those monies to better use than a parish that I’ll find out tomorrow may be closing. I promise I will not use that money on hookers or strippers, but I cannot discount the fact that I would probably get drunk on that money.
When I got to the bar and pulled out the wad of ones that did not contain the C-notes I must say I thought that maybe someone had played a cruel hoax. But, I check my coat pockets, the dresser drawers and my shorts pockets I found nothing. I don’t think I can ask Fr. Jim for the money back, or could I? Please give me a sign.
You humble sometimes obedient servant.