You had your chance-Tonight I'm taking myself out to dinner. - m4w
I placed an ad tonight on CL looking for a nice, attractive woman to join me for dinner--ritas and mexican at the Border Cafe in Harvard Square. My ad described who I am: 34, single, nice, friendly, handsome in an average guy sort of way. But nobody responded. So here I am, hungry, single, with all my charm and wit and humble nature, and nobody to enjoy dinner with. I thought, maybe I'll just stay in, make myself a sandwich, and call it a night...
But I've decided, NO! I'm going out anyway. I'm going to wine and dine myself. I'm going to dress myself up all nice and handsome, drive into Harvard Square, and enjoy my dinner solo! When the hostess asks me, "How Many?" I will proudly say, "One, thank you. Isn't my date quite the catch?" She will seat me, and I will sip my rita, and enjoy myself. Maybe even flirt with myself.
After dinner, I will take myself back to my apartment. I will ask myself if I want to come in for a nightcap. I will say yes. Then I will make a move on myself. I will play hard to get at first, but if I persist I will succumb to my own advances. The sex will be extraordinary, and I will fall asleep in my own arms, and sleep soundly, peacefully. And when I awake in the morning, I will smile at myself, get up, and make myself eggs and coffee in bed.
See ladies? Look what you missed out on. All this love I have to give you. Guess it's all for me now.