best of craigslist > boston > I'm Done With Ya, Bitches
Originally Posted: 2007-02-15 8:57am

I'm Done With Ya, Bitches

It probably coincides with Valentine's Day, even though I haven't put a whole bunch of stock in the "holiday" since I was in high school, but as of today I am done with ya bitches. You are officially not worth my time and effort any longer. Here is my list of greivances against women.

Not Admitting That You Are Only Interested in NSA Sex.
Listen. It takes a lot of effort to build and maintain a healthy, honest relationship with any person of any gender, no matter how great they are. If you just want to fuck, just say so. I may or may not be interested. Don't meet my friends, spend time cuddling (now a banned activity), or talking about life, the universe, and everything with me if all you really want is some dick up in ya. Don't show interest in my life, and breed interest in your own only to tell me a few weeks or months down the road that you are "just not into a relationship." My special attentions are(were) reserved for special people, not fuckholes.

Golddigging.
Wether you realise it or not, most of you are golddiggers. How many months salary for that diamond ring that you expect to get eventually? And what do you give in return? Maybe a blowjob. Maybe, maybe, maybe a begruding attempt at anal. Gee. Thanks. Look, you girls want a guy with money. More than you have. Admit it. You want to travel the world. Own property. Own a nice car. Own handbags and lots of shoes. You may be OK with getting these things for yourself, but a guy who can buy these things for you skyrockets past every one that can't unless he's Ted Bundy. So, those of use guys who have to make our own ways in the world with no inheritances or mamma and da-da's to provide us with stable little nesteggs (or hell, even a year or two of free rent in our adult lives) are kind of screwed.

Speaking of Begrudging Attempts at Anal
"Oh, go ahead, just stick it in and get it over with." A girlfriend actually said this to me once. I have never been a person to nag a woman with requests for anal. I've never even asked for it. She asked me why guys are so interested in it and I tried to explain. It's more about, in an intimate setting, allowing your entire body to become a sex organ, overcoming shame, and trusting one another. A combination of relaxation and overpowering arousal. Don't patronize my sexuality.

Blowjobs & handjobs
should be sloppy, noisy, and willing to finish the job. Not this "suck suck, oh my jaw" crap. I made sure to learn how to give good head. I give DAMN good head. I'm not afraid of your bodily fluids. I dive in and grab a snorkel if I need air. Let go of this bullshit femenist rhetoric and learn to worship the cock or become a lesbian.

Your Friends' & Family's Relentless Scrutiny
Oh my fucking god I am tired of having to prove myself to your friends and families. (straight) Men's friends and families don't require this. They are just happy that we may have found someone whom we have a chance with. Seriously. You bitches need to learn to put your friends in line when they shit talk the guy you're seeing. They will do that to every guy you date. Especially if they are divorced or single. You have no idea how stressful this is, and no respect for my going through this.

Materialism
You are. Look at your handbag.

Bisexuality
You aren't. It just makes you feel popular. You're confused because you don't realize how much this has been used as a marketing tool to sell things to men.

The Toilet Seat
You fucking put it up. When I walk into the bathroom, the first thing I do before I unzip is look at the toilet seat. Is it where I want it to be? No? Then I move it. Grow the fuck up.

Criticism
Look in the mirror. Rate yourself 1 - 10. The closer you are to 10, the less honest people will be with you about what a cunt you are. Realize this. Aknowledge this. This causes you to have a skewed vision of the world and your place in it. Figure it out.

You Are a Protected Species
Men protect you because they want to fuck you. Women protect you for the solidarity of the sisterhood. Your employer promotes you so that you won't sue him for not, or because she wants to "even the odds." The world is put on a curve so that you can advance and become "equal", meanwhile on the other side of that curve are men who have to work twice as hard, in jobs that you'd never want, with little or no recognition, as they LOSE stake in this world, without the balance of women who are willing to support them in the interest of "evening the odds."

feel free to add to the list.

I'm done with ya, bitches, because you are all crazy, deluded, and have priviledges that you don't even begin to aknowledge. Porn is cheaper, more consistent, and less demanding.

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