So I fell in love with a drummer...
But there are some things I want to thank you for, some things I'll never forget.
Like the pawnshop engagement ring you bought for me, and almost 'lost' while making the payments, so you had to borrow money from me to pay that installment and you never paid me back. Then you had the nerve to take the ring back when I said I wanted a divorce. Thanks.
And the time we were so broke, mainly because you steadfastly refused to get a frigging job the entire time we were together (because you are a MUSICIAN! for crying out loud), despite the fact that you already had another child whose mother you owed a ton of child support, and had another baby on the way with me, and I had no other recourse but to pawn my guitar which I stupidly used to impress sexy scruffy musicians like you. Thanks for that. You owe me a guitar.
Thanks also for the time when we eloped (was I high?) and got married at the old-timey photo studio where I dressed as a saloon girl whore (how appropriate, since we met in a bar) and you as a shot gun-toting “gentleman,” and when the preacher pastor lady presiding over the so-called ceremony asked you to repeat after her “I thee endow” and you said “What?” and she said louder “I thee ENDOW” and you said “Uh, I be endowed”…that made me laugh. Thanks really for that.
And thanks for all the times you would scoot over to my side of the bed when I'd have to get up in the middle of the night to pee while carrying your ever heavier fetus. You knew this pissed me off to no end which is I guess why you did it. You are so easily entertained and so often at my expense. Appreciate it.
I can't tell you how many times I'd come home to the house totally rearranged. At first I thought you were nesting, but it kept happening with such frequency and passion-before, during, and after both babies were born-that I just came to the conclusion that you are “totally DEranged.” Thanks for making me wonder about whether I should have the kids someday checked for manic depression. Yea.
There were good times…yes there were. Like the time we were making love in the woods on the hood of the car and you saw head lights coming and freaked out, jumped off me and ducked behind me so my bare ass/boobs would be the first thing those strangers (or not, possibly) saw. That was thoughtful of you.
There's so much to be thankful for when I think of my time with you, too much to really recount here. But I do want to sincerely thank you for the children you gave me (even though with the first one, three whole months into our dating relationship when you knocked me up, I told you over and over I wasn't on the pill and that you needed to pull out and you didn't-twice). I must have been ready for them on some level, and somehow you knew that (?) just like you knew I would make a great mommy, to you too. Thanks for letting me go. Thanks for agreeing to be friends. Thanks for all the music and madness you brought to my life. I'll never be the same, in a good way, thanks to you.
this is in or around Austin of course