I woke up this morning with my nose hairs curled and my eyes burning. My fucking dog took a shit in the early hours of the morning and then decided to eat it to hide the evidence. The problem is that it makes him sick and then he throws it up. I woke up at 5:45 am to the strong smell of shit-vomit on the carpet. Oh, and he walks around the fucking house burping it up too. So basically he shit-vomit-farts out of his mouth. You fucking dumb dog. You are 3 years old and house broken. Why would you do that? If you take a shit on the carpet just leave it there. It is so much easier to clean up that way. I'm not going to let you in the house today because even if you stop barfing up shit-vomit you still burp it up which makes the house smell like SHIT-VOMIT! Fuck you and then next time another dog is butt-fucking you at the dog park I'm not coming to your rescue.
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- Location: Austin
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