best of craigslist > ann arbor > I give bikers a bad name
Originally Posted: 2006-09-29 1:29am

I give bikers a bad name

To all the drivers who get so pissed off at all the cyclists on the road -
Leave them alone. Almost all of them are obeying the rules, trying to stay out of your way, trying to enjoy a nice ride, trying to get some excercise, just not using gas to get to work, school, grocery whatever. They're really not in your way. They're only stopping you from getting to the next red light two seconds earlier.

I'm the one you hate. And I like it.

I rarely stop at stop signs. I'll slow down and make sure the coast is CLEAR. I mean NO-ONE coming. I'm not out to cause an accident. But I'll break the law and ride on through. I like it.

I do stop for red lights - when there is traffic. But I will go if the way is clear before the light turns green. About 90% of the time I will ride through a red light. I like it.

When cars are stopped at a light I'll ride past you all, between lanes and get in front of the first car. It's illegal but I'm never going to get ticketed and I like it.

Excepting motorways, I ride on whatever the fuck road I want - bike lanes or no. If the right side of a lane is trashed (branches, trash, potholes) then I'll ride down the middle of the lane. I'm not moving over when you're behind me either. Hell, if you're going too slow, I'll even move into the left lane and pass you. I like it.

Drivers who yell "the rules" out their windows are hilarious. Faces all crimson with anger. Spittle flying. None of these asshats are people I have endangered. There just idiots who get angry when I "get away" with the shit I pull. It's really funny. You've got that special type of anger that driving creates. It makes me feel good that I'm on a bike. So go ahead - YELL! I like it.

Very rarely I'll come across a driver who will express his anger at my rule breaking by driving dangerously around me and pulling stupid shit to scare me. I'm not scared. It does annoy me and I will catch up with you and I will come out on top. So go ahead - fuck with me on the road. My adrenaline is already high, the anger feels good, bring it on. I like it.

I have NEVER hit, or been hit by, a moving automobile (I did run into a parked car when I hit some ice once). I have NEVER caused any driver to slam on their brakes. Yes, I would know if I did. I'm very aware of EVERY car around me (hence, never been hit). These are good stats for the amount of cycling I have done. It make me confident, but not over-confident. The score board stays clear. I like it.

I will NOT slow you down. If I'm riding in town, then I am going as fast as you, faster than you or cruising to a red light. If I have slipped up between stopped cars to get in front of you at a red light (and I wait for the green) I will accelerate through the intersection a lot faster than you no matter what kind of assmobile you have ('cept motorbikes). And then I'll even stay on the right so that you can easily pass me! I know I've just been a cunt and passed you all at the red, so if you've got enough road to catch up, I'll give you the room to pass! When you do catch up and pass me without having to change lane I'm happy. I like it.

See I'm not really evil. I enjoy all the dipshits who think that they are law enforcement. I'll do my best to not impede you on your urgent mission to get to whereeverthefuck. I will absolutely avoid causing an accident or scaring the shit out of you. But I will always choose to obey the traffic rules when it feels right. I use my brain. I don't care whether you like it or not. It works for me. I like it.

Out of town - this is a different scene. It's easy to stay on the right. I never ride two abreast. If it's a narrow road, I'll get way over so you can safely pass. If it's a narrow road and you're waiting to pass (out of town, this actually happens a lot) and it looks like it could be a while, I'll even get off the road and stop! I don't care, I'm only racing myself. But WTF is going on? Once you get out of town, something like 99.999% of drivers are REALLY NICE! They pass with LOTS of room. They WAIT to pass, often fairly far behind. NO-ONE honks. NO-ONE yells. They just don't seem as angry as city drivers. I like riding in the country.

So, angry drivers, don't hate all cyclists, hate me. I won't actually cause you any trouble but if you're the easily angered type then I'll gladly annoy the shit out of you with the way I ride. Hate me - I like it.

:)


(This is not my thesis. It probaby have gramar and speeling mistaks.)

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